Monday, May 30, 2011

Photos Around My Home




I went for a walk the other day. I took my camera and snapped somewhat random shots. I have never belonged to a photo club or taken this kind of photo. I tend to be more of the holiday or friends at a gathering type of dull snapper. Anyway, I'm happy what came from it....




The pic to the left, looking skyward through a tree in our street and what is left of its autumn leaves.



The snap below was taken facing south toward the Wither Hills though some pods on a bush.

Now of a grid that covers access to telephone wires or the like.

What is left of a tree that has been felled on a verge outside a house. As to the type of tree I'm stumped.

Finally, along the border between houses and the Wither Hills Park, looking west towards Taylor Pass Rd.


I hope you like my amateur photographic efforts. Feel free to copy and use.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Recommended Book Titles: Part 1

If you enjoy reading, may I suggest some of my favourite titles:

The Debt Cycle by Owen Moore
Kiddies Games by I.C. Yu
Not The Sharpest Knife by T.Hick
Creatures Of The Sea by C.Lyon
Mindless Scribbles by I. Doodle
Over The Cliff by Hugo Furst
Cliff Disaster by Eileen Ova
Cats Revenge by Claude Ball
Squeeky Bedsprings by I.P. Knightly
Out On The Prowl by Tom Catt
Evil Woman by Jessie Bell
After Dinner by I.V. Eaton
Stash Of Jewels by Iva Pearl
The Foolish Man by A.Pratt
Keep Warm At Night by Ida Down
Denied Entry by Dee Barr
Benefits of Hydration by P. Daley
Road Sense by Jay Walker

Others in the series: Part TwoPart Three Part Four & Part Five.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Fading Memory

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.'

The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'

The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... The one that's red and has thorns.'

'Do you mean a rose?'

'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'

Monday, May 16, 2011

The Secret Hearing Aid


An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%

The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'

The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'

Monday, May 9, 2011

A Welsh Name Dilemma

On a beautiful summer's day, two English tourists were driving through Wales. At Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllantysiliogogoch they stopped for lunch, and one of the tourists asked the waitress,

'Before we order, I wonder if you could settle an argument for us.. Can you pronounce where we are, very, very, very slowly?'

The girl leaned over and said, 'Burrr … gurrr … king'

...and yes it does exist. I have been there...

Friday, May 6, 2011

Oddments


The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

Got myself a new Jack Russell puppy, he's mainly black and brown with a small white patch, so I've called him Birmingham.

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

A man's wife went out for a pint of milk & never came back! He was asked him how he was coping and he said, "Not bad, I've been using that powdered stuff."

The police came to a man's front door holding a picture of his wife. They said, "Is this your wife, sir?"
Shocked, he answered, " Yes."
They said, "I'm afraid it looks like she's been hit by a bus."
He said, "I know, but she has a lovely personality."

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Medical Alert


The Centre for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically.

This virus is called Weary Overload Recreational Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues, or anyone else via any means whatsoever - DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely. If you should come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the premises.

Take two good friends to the nearest grocery store and purchase one or all of the antidotes - Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE), Complete Health And Mind Purging Anti Guilt Negating Enzyme (CHAMPAGNE) or Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Monastery Of Silence


Sister Mary Catherine entered the Monastery of Silence. The Priest said, 'Sister, this is a silent monastery. You are welcome here as long as you like, but you may not speak until directed to do so.' Sister Mary Catherine lived in the monastery for 5 years before the Priest said to her, 'Sister Mary Catherine, you have been here for 5 years. You may speak two words.'

Sister Mary Catherine said, 'Hard bed.'

'I'm sorry to hear that,' the Priest said, 'We will get you a better bed.'

After another 5 years, Sister Mary Catherine was summoned by the Priest. 'You may say another two words, Sister Mary Catherine.'

'Cold food,' said Sister Mary Catherine, and the Priest assured her that the food would be better in the future.

On her 15th anniversary at the monastery, the Priest again called Sister Mary Catherine in to his office. 'You may say two words today.'

'I quit,' said Sister Mary Catherine.

'It's probably best,' said the Priest,'You've done nothing but complain since you got here.'