Saturday, November 11, 2017

Group Therapy For Mums



A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions" he observed.

To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You’ve even named your daughter Candy"

He turned to the second mother, Ann "Your obsession is with money. Again it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny"

He turned to the third mother, Kathy "Your obsession is alcohol. This too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy"



At this point, the fourth mother, Joyce, quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered...."Come on Dick, this guy has no idea what he's talking about. Let's pick Willy up from school and go home"

Wednesday, November 8, 2017

Zen Teachings

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow.. In fact, just push off and leave me alone.

No one is listening....until you pass wind.

Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Some days you are the dog, other days you are the tree.

Good judgment comes from bad experience .... and most of that comes from bad judgment.

There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.

We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our rear end - then things just keep getting worse.

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

A journey of a thousand miles starts with a prod on the accelerator.

Monday, November 6, 2017

Exercise Regime For Those Who Struggle To Do Any


Begin by standing on a comfortable surface. Make sure you have plenty of room at each side. With a 10 lb (5 kg) potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax. Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.

After a couple of weeks, move up to 25 lb (10-kg) potato sacks then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 60 lb (25 kg) potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.

After you feel confident at that level, try putting a potato in each sack.