Sunrise

Bikes Across The River

Sometimes the only way across a river is carrying a bike. It's nice when rocks have been positioned to assist. No wet feet. My wife's bike...

...then back for mine.

Snoring

The guys were all at Charlie's deer camp. No one wanted to room with Charlie, because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.

The first guy roomed with Charlie and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They asked the first guy what happened and he said 'Charlie snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night.'

The next night it was Frank's turn. In the morning, same thing, hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot. They asked him the same thing and he said, 'Man, that Charlie shakes the roof with his snoring. I watched him all night.'

The third night was Billy's turn. Billy was a tanned, older cowboy, a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

"Good morning!" he said.

They couldn't believe it. They said, 'Man, what happened?'

He said, 'Well, we got ready for bed. I went in and tucked Charlie into bed, patted him on the butt, then kissed him good night. Charlie sat up and watched me all night.'

Gilbert (ouch)

You wouldn't want to be Gilbert, now would you?

Local Sports Coaches - Part 2

When some local people took to coaching sports in our area, they had mixed results. I have given a rundown of how these enthusiastic amateurs fared as they tried to make their teams winners. The first part can be found by clicking here. Now for some more I have noted.

The local speedway driver thought he had what it took, but after initial success, over training caused the team to struggle and duly hit a wall.

The town's plumber had a similar problem and after they were initially flushed with success, as the season progressed the side looked increasingly drained.

The undertaker thought he could work wonders but from the outset, the performances were grave and their season was soon dead and buried.

A popular DJ was expected to fail. But rather than have to face the music, the team was soon rocking.

A market gardener tried his hand at unearthing local talent. He got the players confidence to grow and produced a fine crop of players.

Local Sports Coaches

When some local people took to coaching sports in our area, they had mixed results. I have given a rundown of how these enthusiastic amateurs fared as they tried to make their teams winners.

First up, an electrician seemed up with current coaching techniques, but somehow the team had no spark.

A retired politician tried his hand at it and while he promised much, unfortunately he delivered little.

The local land developer thought he had what it took to get the most of his charges, but despite proclaiming he had a cunning plot, he failed to build on it.

This was in contrast to our florist, whose team budded, them bloomed as the season progressed.

Our dentist too had success as he got his teeth into it. It came down to the side being well drilled.

Picture source: Youth Sport Trust.

A New Zealand Food Favourite

I recall when I was young down at the Devonport (Auckland) wharf, watching people with big nets hauling in copious amounts of tiny fish. You could peer down into the water and see masses of them swimming around the poles that supported the wharf. So many were caught that the value was minimal and you can only eat so many of them.

Some people would take them home, dig trenches and use them as fertiliser, a practice that disgusted my parents. They were not knowledgeable conservationists but they understood excessive harvesting of any animal is not sustainable, but especially morally wrong.

The creature in question is the whitebait, which are immature fish fry. They often travel together in schools, presumably for protection. They are a vital source of mature fish stock, which should be allowed to grow into full sized creatures if not for eating.

The despicable practice of using them for manure or on selling has led to a shortage in New Zealand, forcing up prices to ridiculous levels. There is a season for catching them and limits on how you can catch them. These are often flouted by greedy private opportunists, who on-sell them for much personal gain. I would have thought banning private selling would reduce the catch and lessen the rule breaking harvesting.  

I have no problem with catching whitebait if it for personal consumption. While they are quite tasty, I could live without them and have for many years. I recently had some given to me by a person who refuses to make money from them, sharing with friends on occasions. I wish there were more Kiwis of that disposition. Fried with egg and in this case with a croissant (unusual I admit but it worked), a pleasant lunch time treat.

That said, I would happily see a ban on their catching altogether if fish stocks were being harmed. Those who abuse the privilege of responsible fishing of these tiny creatures may cause that to happen one day. Greed simply isn't sustainable.

Outdoor Pursuits Fail

I was told I should get out and enjoy the outdoor life more.

So went fishing, but never got hooked.

How about pig hunting they said? I soon got bored with that.

Surfing seemed good but I soon gave that a wave good-bye.

Some say walking in the forest is great for the soul but personally I was glad to give it the boot.

Kayaking is liked by many but my desire soon sank without trace.

I now go to coffee shops and enjoy it
al fresco. That's the sort of outdoor life that I can certainly drink up.




Picture source: Click here.

Orca

Some friends were at the Marlborough Sounds, New Zealand and saw two Orca swim by. They followed in a boat and this is one of the photos they took. It would have been a great time to swim with them but apparently a person wearing a black wet suit and flippers could look like a seal. Although not generally a threat to humans, it would be very brave to try something like that.

Although often called killer whales, they are more closely related to dolphins. They are intelligent, sophisticated hunters and have no predators. This day they may have been after sting rays.

Tree Feller Extraodinaire

This man broke a lot of modern day rules regarding health and safety. The video starts a bit slow but stay with it. You will be amazed.

Football Mates

Two 90 year old men, Mike and Joe, have been friends all of their lives. When it's clear that Joe is dying, Mike visits him every day. One day Mike says, "Joe, we both loved Football all our lives, and we played on Saturdays together for so many years. Please do me one favour, when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's Football there."

Joe looks up at Mike from his death bed, "Mike, you've been my best friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favour for you."

Shortly after that, Joe passes on. At midnight a couple of nights later, Mike is awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to him, "Mike -- Mike."

"Who is it?" asks Mike sitting up suddenly.

"Mike--it's me, Joe."

"You're not Joe. Joe just died."

"I'm telling you, it's me, Joe," insists the voice."

"Joe! Where are you?"

"In heaven," replies Joe. "I have some really good news and a little bad news."

"Tell me the good news first," says Mike.

"The good news," Joe says, "is that there is Football in heaven. Better yet, all of our old friends who died before us are here, too. Better even than that, we're all young again. Better still, it's always spring time and it never rains or snows. And, best of all, we can play Football all we want, and we never get tired."

"That's fantastic," says Mike. "It's beyond my wildest dreams! So what's the bad news?"

"You're in the team for this Saturday."

Common Sense Safety

Who floated this crazy idea?

Cutting edge technology

Planking gone mad

Why not get on the stomach?

Fishing Loving Man

Safety First For This Council

I wrote about a bend in a cycle track that I use that took the rider toward a tree. The article can be seen by clicking here. I went to the local council that maintain the route and a very helpful man assured me that it would be realigned to improve safety. How often do you hear that and nothing happens?

Well, I little while later the picture below shows what has been done...

As you will see by comparing it with the first blog I wrote on the subject how the soil bridge over the culvert has been widened considerably. The track marks on the gravel shows how people are no longer on a collision course with the tree in question. So a big well done to the council and the man in charge of it in acting promptly and effectively.

Bureaucracy can be a pain and stop sensible actions being taken, but here no such problem. Credit where credit is due.

Cycling Tragedy

I know this is supposed to be light and funny, but life isn't always like that. I heard about a lady in her early 50's tragically passing away on a bike track I frequent. (To see a photograph series of articles on the track, click here to start with part 1. ) I went out on my usual ride and found the spot because flowers had been left there. My sympathies to the family and friends.

The surprise I got was it is at a spot a week or two earlier I nearly collided with a tree. The terrain slopes down, then turns over a culvert and then turns back again, making an S shape. It used to be a ditch which made me slow down, but with the drain installed you don't have to slow down now. I was going a bit too fast, took a line that was too much to the right and then quickly had to correct my line as this tree beckoned. A little skidding and I missed it by about a foot (30cm). No big deal and I carried on, but then to find that very tree with the tribute around its base was a surprise.

I went to the local council afterward who manage the track and explained what happened to me and wondered if that was what happened to the lady. Apparently her situation wasn't to do with colliding with anything, just a medical misadventure. They promised to look at a slight realignment of the track. The pictures of the site are below. they are over exposed bit it was hot and bright at the time.

The culvert that twists the track

The tree!

It doesn't look a problem in the photos, but the photo makes the distance look much more than it is. Allowing for that, going too quickly, taking the wrong line, then suddenly breaking and changing direction was a wake up call. Cycling should be safe and caution is essential. If a track is changed, then over familiarity can be an enemy.

On Your Bike

Cycling is good for you. It doesn't have to be long, intense rides either. Shorter rides, preferably off road along tracks are sufficient. Why are they so good?

1) They give a cardiovascular workout. It strengthens the heart and makes it more efficient. Little and often can do this. As long as the heart gets pumping...

2) Good for coordination, especially if the track is variable and makes your brain work at quicker decision making.

3) Exercise releases chemicals called endorphins. They reduce stress, anxiety and feelings of depression. They improve self-esteem and better sleep.

4) Reduced weight and better body tone.

5) Clean for the environment. Of course you may have to drive to a place where you can have a cycle ride, but at least you are doing what's good for you. If you can avoid the car ride first, all the better.

Summary: You don't need an expensive bike. In fact if the bike is of basic standard, the less distance you need to travel for the same effect. Top quality cycles are good for winning races, but lesser bikes to make you work harder for less distance traveled. You don't need the Tour de France outfit either. Clothing that produces drag is also good for the work out. If on the road, be sure to make yourself as visible as possible.

So, what are you waiting for?

Something all the family can enjoy together

Portable BBQs

Seems a bit over the top. A closer look below

Apparently the biggest. I won't argue that one

A more modest effort, but still plenty of cooking going on

After the game, the appetite needs to be sated

More for style than cooking capacity

A very practical effort. Loads of cooking area

Learning To Play Fair

At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 9-year-old baseball players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is, what a team is?"

The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

"Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?"

The little boy replieded "Yes".

"So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when an out is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the umpire, or call him bad names. Do you understand all that?"

The little boy nodded again.


He continued, "And when I take you out of the game so another boy gets a chance to play too, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach a dumb ass or something similar is it?"

The little boy shook his head.

"Good", said the coach. "Now go over there and explain all that to your grandmother!"

Moments Caught On Camera: By The Seaside

He will learn from this.

They hardly seem to be moving and he still fell off!?

If you can't handle the heat, get out off of the kitchen.

Is this head water skiing?

Umbrellas

They are so useful, but a pain if you need to use your hands while holding one up to protect you from the rain. Someone has tried to fix this:

...and I must say it has merit.

This next effort is supposed to be stylish and easy to handle with what looks like a strap around the shoulders:

.... but it gives poor coverage lower down and looks unusual.

As for this effort, it gives better coverage than above:

...but looks cumbersome and claustrophobic.

Now this one has an eye on fashion:

... but it appears useless in keeping you dry. It looks daft too.

If you have to share one, this could be a solution:

... but what if you are alone? 
Plus the protection isn't that great anyway.

One that that looks effective and natural. Someone could walk behind as well. Biodegradable too:

... but not available everywhere and one not giving full protection.

I guess it could be mission impossible, finding the perfect solution. Maybe this is it:

... wear a raincoat and enjoy yourself.

Or maybe it's a case of safety in numbers:

I think I like the first one. That gets my vote anyway.