Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Trucker's Breakfast

A trucker came into a Truck Stop Cafe and placed his order. He said I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards.'

The brand new waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, "This guy out there just ordered three flat tyres, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. What does he think this place is, an auto parts store?"

'No,' the cook said. 'Three flat tyres mean three pancakes; a pair of headlights is two eggs sunny side up, and a pair of running boards are two slices of crisp bacon!

'Oh...OK!' said the waitress. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer.

The trucker asked, 'What are the beans for, Blondie?'

She replied, 'I thought while you were waiting for the flat tyres, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!

Sunday, January 26, 2014

Boat With A View

This 90 year old cargo ship was decommissioned in 1981 and is now a holiday home at Lake Erie.

The Benson Ford Cargo ship at rest

You would think you were at sea

How's your vertigo?

Stately lounge room

Comfortable bedroom after a day on the high seas 

For more, please go to the Daily Mail.

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Making Food Fun

Especially do children need food to be fun. In my day we ate what we were given and were grateful. Modern day values are different. However, all of us can appreciate the extra effort made to liven up dishes in an artistic way. Check out the pictures below.

The trickiest here, a bouquet of delacacies

Something fishy here. Strawberries and bread? Visually it works well though

What a clever way to display fruit tarts 

Simple but delightfully tropical

The humble spud made interesting

Finger food never looked so appetising

All aboard kids for your vegetables

It looks fine without the head and legs, but fun for all regardless

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Observations On Life And People

Mr Bean And A Long Sermon
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty...but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.

Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

If it tastes good spit it out.

Monday, January 20, 2014

A Farmer's Wisdom

Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

A bumble bee is considerably faster than a tractor.

Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.

Meanness don't just happen overnight.

Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

You cannot unsay a cruel word.

Every path has a few puddles.

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

The best sermons are lived, not preached.

Most of the stuff people worry about, ain't never gonna happen anyway.

Silence is sometimes the best answer.

Live a good and honorable life, then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.

Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't bothering you none.

Timin' has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.

Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly,

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

A Lesson I Learned On Kindness

When my parents first arrived in Auckland, New Zealand, they were of modest material means. Immigrants often are. In due course they needed reliable car for the family. An 850cc Morris Minor was for sale nearby. The man selling it was comfortably well off and was selling it in behalf of his aged mother, who was not able to drive any longer.

A test drive was undertaken and my parents were keen. The only problem was that it was a bit more than they could afford so they explained how much they could pay. This was back in the days when people paid cash or went without. The man replied another buyer was coming later and he would decide then.

My parents were disappointed because the car was just what they needed, yet they knew it was almost certain that they would be outbid. Later the phone call came to say the car was theirs. They excitedly went to pick it up. The man then said that the other people were able to pay more, but he wanted our family to have it. He said he knew we needed it more, with a young family.

That car served us for many years and proved the ideal car for our us.  When my mother later told me what had happened, it became something I never forgot. Sometimes it isn't about money, it's about doing the kind thing. It was a lesson I learned and a principal I live with. Show kindness when you have the power to do so. It's something you cannot put a value on.

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Movie Reviewers

Most of us choose to watch a movie or not. We look at the type and the classifications before deciding if we would be likely to enjoy, be bored or offended by it. Reviewers I assume cannot simply choose what to look at. They are there to let you know if you may want to go.

The problem for anyone having this job is seeing things that you are repulsed by, but staying on to the end. That would surely desensitise the reviewer as they ignored their inclination to stop watching. This seems to have happened to a reviewer that writes in a local paper.

This is about a movie just released:

"A guilt-free celebration of the kind of behaviour that would have made the Romans blush. It's a coke-snorting, crack-smoking, scotch-skulling, hooker shagging riot of a film...it's the sweariest movie of all time with 506 uses of the F-word alone...is a desert where all that is good withers..."

So not recommended then? Well:

The lead character is "...worryingly impossible not to like.." and "...the most entertaining film of the summer..." 

Reviewer summary: Offensively good and 4 1/2 out of 5 stars.

My summary: Why be entertained by the vilest of characters? They exist but we don't want to know about them, do we? The reviewers conscience is so seared that he enjoyed and fully recommends it.

Monday, January 6, 2014

Some Scraps Of Wool And....

My wife had a some wool she wanted to use up. She crocheted this blanket, about the size of a throw over for a single bed. It's amazing what can be done with some small leftovers.

The crochet flowers add a nice touch too.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Light 'N Funny : 2013 Summary

Yet another big year for the blog you are reading. Since records began, Light 'n Funny has grown 138% (2011), 133% (2012) and 94% (2013). Of course growth won't continue at that rate. In fact I will be surprised if can match that and I will explain below. First things first....

For the facts of 2013:

Hits: 18,800

Blog of the year: Amazing Breast Gourd Plant (over 10,000!) 

Countries most visiting (ranked): USA, Canada, UK, Australia, Russia, New Zealand, Latvia, India, Malaysia & Germany.

The reason for the expected drop is that the popularity of the blog of the year can surely not continue. I don't know why it went off the way it did but it must have been emailed around or posted at other sites. The stream of readers was unrelenting for that article.

There were problems with Blogger during the year when publishing an article became a nightmare. Despite that, the show went on and that didn't seem to affect visitors as you as existing blog articles were there to enjoy.

Group hug everyone

The thing is it is a commercial free blog, meaning that there are no advertisements, pop ups or requests for donations. It is all free to you all, the way the internet was designed to be. I hope it entertained you and return to browse around, have a laugh or reflection on something. It has been nice having you.