Love

Love is a gift, one that brings happiness. What are aspects of love that will enhance happiness?

Coming to know and love you Maker is the most important love. (Matt 22:37)

Caring love should extend even to a stranger. 

(Luke 10:30-35)

True love is selfless. (1 Cor 10:24)

Real love isn't about receiving, it's about giving. (Acts 20:35)

Genuine love is felt inside and shown by actions. (Mark 1:40-42)

Hopeful love motivates us to be kind to those who dislike or even hate us (Matt 5:44)

Contentment

What a nice feeling contentment is. It's like a warm log fire in a cosy living room. You are not thinking of the cold outside but simply enjoying where you are, with those you love. It's a state of mind, being happy with your current situation. 

How many people can say they are content? Why do many fail to achieve it, even when living in a country where the lifestyle and standard of living should make it the default setting for all who live there? Here are a couple reasons.

Enough isn't enough. 

The businesses in the commercial world entice us to want more, because as we acquire things, they make money. No one begrudges businesses making a living. However, advertising that encourages the notion that our happiness depends on buying new things or upgrading are deceiving us. 

Why not be content with what we have, unless we really need something. The fact that we can afford something doesn't mean we have to buy it. When self denial is appropriate, it teaches moderation rather than indulgence. It also gives us something to look forward to when we do get something rather than the empty feeling that comes from having it all.

Having nice things makes me feel and look good. 

That is true, to a point. The fact is the 'feel good' factor doesn't last long. The 'look good' aspect is true when dressed in expensive attire or seen driving a posh car, but it adds nothing to your worth as a human. In fact, if you achieved your wealth at the expense of others, it has lessened your worth as a human. 

The benefits of contentment.

There is frustration if always feeling you need or deserve more. Looking at others around us and comparing is not going to help if they have more than we do.  Even if one doesn't have a lot, if what we have covers our most basic needs, then there is no reason to feel discontent. 

What should be most valuable to us is our relationship with our Maker (if we have a faith), our loved ones and our health. A well paid, high pressure job will negatively affect all those things to a greater or lesser degree. A company could ditch us as soon as our use to them was over, whereas the important things will be there, if you haven't neglected them. 

Suggestion.

Why not each day think about or write in a notebook something in your life that you are grateful for. Especially reflect on what is most important but also too easy to take for granted. Then our focus will be positive and appreciative. As a result contentment will follow. 

Exercise Regime For Those Who Struggle To Do Any

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface. Make sure you have plenty of room at each side. With a 10 lb (5 kg) potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax. Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.

After a couple of weeks, move up to 25 lb (10-kg) potato sacks then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 60 lb (25 kg) potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.

After you feel confident at that level, try putting a potato in each sack.

Kindness

Isn’t it nice when someone shows kindness to us in some way? It could be a thoughtful word, an offer of help, or even a caring smile as we pass. Kindness adds so much to other people, yet costs nothing to share.

I was helping an elderly lady in a supermarket the other day. She was very appreciative but then I sensed she got a little nervous as to why a stranger would want to help her. Time to back off and leave it at that I thought.

Still, being kind to others rewards both the giver and recipient. Wouldn’t it be nice to live in a world of kindness and trust? There is never a better time to start something good than now.

Scrabble

Electronic devises take so much of people's attention today. When I was a nipper, we had tangible things in front of us, like real cards and board games that came out of boxes. Of course, if the weather was good we were outside playing sport or exploring the open land behind where we lived. However, poor weather brought us inside and we played those games.

My better half and I are increasingly turning to such for entertainment. There is something nice about playing with people you know and care about. We enjoy Scrabble, something that a few friends we know are avid players of. We do it for fun, brain exercise and bonding together. Have you got a board game or a pack of cards? Give it a go and remember, win or lose it's just a game. Who you play with is more important than the outcome.

If you want a Scrabble online dictionary, we use Collins Scrabble. The game we played here used all the counters but I have just noticed one of my wife's words has been put down wrongly. Note to self, 'Better surveillance required in future'.

All the words you see there are acceptable (except one, lol) and we have fun playing it. If looked after, games can last indefinitely. This particular set is so old it has wooden pieces and racks to hold the words.

Card Game - No Nines

A typical hand

When I was young, one of the regular card games we played was No Nines. Whenever I teach new people, they pick it up quickly and really enjoy playing. Few people know it.

Objective: To run out of cards first.

Set up: Take a standard 52 card pack. Remove the four nines and keep one joker, which becomes a wild card that can be any number you want. Suits are irrelevant. Deal out the cards individually, the last person will get one extra card than the others. That person will also lead off.

Playing: The first person plays say an Ace (which are low, not high as in most card games), then two, three...for as long as they can. A player must play a card as part of a sequence if they are able.

An example. "Ace, Two Three no Four". The person to their left says "Five, Six no Seven". The person to their left may say "No Seven". The fourth player may say "Seven, Eight no Nine".

Of course there is no Nine, so the eight is what you would call a stopping card. They are useful as that player can now start off again anywhere they wish. They perhaps play "Ten, Jack, Queen, King". Another stopping card. Then "Ten, Jack, no Queen". So it would continue until someone runs out of cards.

Tallying up scores: Ace is worth 11 points, Ten and all picture cards ten, with the rest face value (a six worth six for example). Four rounds are played and the person with the lowest points declared the winner.

The Joker: It can be used at anytime, as any card, when it is the holder's turn to play. If a person is able to run out by playing the Joker as their last card, that means all other players double their score for that round. So there is incentive to hold it back to the end if possible. However, get caught with the Joker in your hand and you then have to double your score.

The Joker can also be played as a Nine, so if someone says "Eight, no Nine" and is about to run out, the player with the Joker can quickly use it as a Nine so as not to be caught with it. The Ten would then follow the Nine played, whoever next is able to do so.

The person who initially leads off for the first time can - if they choose to do so - play a multiple of the first card only. For example, a person has three Aces, not good as they are starter cards (also the Ten). They are easy to get stuck with. So they play "Ace, two, Three, no Four" and in doing so they could play three Aces at that time. Thereafter it is always only one of each number played. It is a bonus offer to the lead player for the first card down only. If it doesn't suit, then the player is not obliged to do so.

Best played by four people. Enjoy, and if you have any questions, please leave a comment.

Play Board / Card Games

When I was young, we played board games like Snakes 'n Ladders, Ludo and Draughts (Checkers in the US). Then we moved onto Monopoly, Scrabble and other similar, harder games. All through that time we played card games too.

Today, you can play games online or just constantly text to keep life interesting. That is what people often do rather than the more traditional sort of game. Is there any benefit to playing the more traditional board and card games face to face with people? I believe it is and here are some benefits. Of course, you need to play with the right attitude and treat it as fun to gain from them.

Strengthens relationships with family and friends. Interacting with others in a happy, enjoyable setting increases your closeness to others.

Makes you laugh. Merriment is a medicine and played with the right spirit, games should make you do anything from giggle and roar with laughter. See the game as a fun thing, not a must win situation. You can still be competitive but a good loser will have fun regardless of the outcome.

Good for your brain. Games require memory, strategy and sometimes teamwork. All that gives the grey cells a good work out.

Games make you forget stressful issues for a while or perhaps even see them in a more realistic way. Engaging with people we like can put things into perspective. Laughter is good for the immune system and digestion. Happy people feel better about themselves and life in general.

We also give to others when we reach out for them. Without words, we tell them we like them and that they matter to us. Making others feel good is good for our well being. So why not organise a game with family or freinds? If someone invites you, get involved and make it fun for yourself and everyone else.

So What About Fat?

I recently wrote two blog articles on white sugar in which I was less than complementary. (You can read those by clicking here for the first and here for the second. So what about fat? Doesn't that deserve the same treatment. Well, yes and no. The lack of clarity I will explain now.

Our body uses fat to make tissue and manufacture chemicals. They are sources of energy and is a flavorsome ingredient in your food. We must have some fat to be healthy. As with all issues, experts contradict each other and I don't even class myself as an expert. However, common sense and observation is often a better educator than traditional ideas. So what could be some do's and don'ts?

Complimentary eating. When having food, drink red wine in moderation. One glass with a meal is fine. Onions and garlic, raw or not too heavily cooked is good. We always had simple homemade mint sauce with roast lamb to cut the fat.

Regular, aerobic exercise. Anything that works muscles and gets the heart pumping is good. Regular and not too excessive in one session works for me. Of course, periodic medical check ups are important and any medical conditions you have should be checked out before starting. Better to be alive that dead fit.

Avoid ice drinks. When I have visited America, the obsession of iced water at the table and ice in drinks disturbs me. I don't think it is good for digestive juices, as ice has a numbing effect. Also, ice causes fat to solidify. I don't touch ice, and any liquid I drink is room temperature or warmer.

Sugary fat is bad. Processed foods are based around sugar and fat, a bad combination.

Summary: Hopefully it provides food for thought. It is not a scientific treatise nor will it work for everyone. We are all different. This is working for me, and if it gets you thinking about the subject - good. If improvement can be made, initial 'baby steps' are better, as your body doesn't like sudden change any more than you do. It has to be trained.

I don't see fat a particularly big problem. I do see poor eating combinations, an indolent lifestyle and processed foods as bad news. Eat fresh, eat as natural as possible and put some effort into food preparation. Get out and exert yourself if you can. You are what you eat and you are how you live.

Getting Sugar Under Control

In a previous article I wrote about white sugar being an enemy, I thought it wise to add how to beat the addiction. You may be surprised to think of it as an addiction but tests show that it is extremely addictive. Most of our consumption is through bought, processed foods. The food industry knows about it but they are there to sell to you again and again, not nurture your well being.

So how to beat it? As I have been reading labels for years on products and avoiding 'hidden' sugar, I didn't have an addiction to beat. However I just liked some processed foods like ice cream for example. I got a machine that turns frozen fruit into a delicious desert and no more ice cream (found here). There are all sorts of ways to beat the system - that wants you hooked on sugar - I call healthy alternatives.

So how about some practical advice. I could just copy from a web page but I know of one that seems to say the right things on the subject, so I suggest you take a look. I'm not a health professional but one who for my own physical condition had to limit sugar and much of what is said here I now do. Simply click on MBG.

Some things I don't touch such as soft drinks and also fruit juice. If I want fruit, I eat fruit. If I am thirsty I drink room temperature or warm water (not iced). I don't suck on a bottle all day but drink a full glass. Instead of coffee (I recently started a low coffee consumption regime) I substitute with a carob powder drink. Find what works for you as we are all different. Except in one way...white sugar is bad for all of us.

For all that, will power is the major player. Unless you have the commitment to win, you won't. It's that simple.

Food Public Enemy Number One

I remember my mother reading about public enemy #1 and #2 written by Doris Grant. She criticised the processed food industry for overuse of refined carbohydrates, especially white bread and white sugar. It caused a rethink in our diet and we went from heavy consumers of above ingredients to lesser users.


More recently I have for health reasons cut back to virtually zero white sugar. I still eat a fair amount of white flour but mix it with wholemeal when baking it. I never buy commercially made bread as it doesn't agree with me the same as home made.

If one could do one improvement in their diet, I would suggest virtual elimination of white sugar. Some sources claim it is nutritious but I beg to differ. The appearance and taste tell me all benefit has been removed in the processing of it.

Sucrose is found in fruit but there is a difference between natural sucrose that found in white sugar or syrup usually found in processed foods. The refining process ensures there is no nutritional value. In fact they take energy and health. I don't want to sound a crusader but these are my personal thoughts, not shared by all. I know I feel better with minimal white sugar and I don't hold back on naturally occurring sucrose.

Finding Joy : Scenario #2

In the 1950's a man was travelling around Africa, interviewing leaders about life under colonial rule. On one of his journeys, he was going to meet an official when the train he was on stopped. News got through that a train further down the line had derailed and a long delay was expected.

It was hot and people got off the train as they waited. The man was upset at the time it was taking and how it was making him late. He observed the African people around him were happy as they talked. He decided to ask why they were happy when their journey was disrupted for so long. In reply it was explained that they were happy because they were not on the train that had derailed. A six hour wait was much better than possible injury, or even death.

So here was a traveller annoyed about the time they had to wait and the locals were glad to be well and unhurt. Life throws up unexpected events, and plans are affected. However, there are always more than one way to look at the situation. Either we can see how we have been affected negatively, or appreciate that it could have been a lot worse. Besides, getting frustrated at something we have no control over is pointless, even unhealthy.

The man learned a lesson. The local people maintained their joy while they waited. He had lost his over something he could do nothing about. We could always see how circumstances could have been better, and get wound up. Instead, we could reflect on the bigger picture. Accepting that things go wrong and finding an upside to what happened will lighten our mood. In that negative moment, we might even discover there is something to be joyful about.

Finding Joy : Scenario #1

Many years ago wife and I had been on a coach trip in Europe. We were to arrive back in London late afternoon and decided to treat ourselves to a nice hotel for the night before heading up north to relatives later the next day. As is often the case with travel, we got back late and arrived at the hotel about 11pm.

We went to check in and were standing behind an Australian couple who had just flown in and were also late. We heard that their room had been given to someone else. The man was beside himself with anger, insisting on having his room. The acting manager came out to explain they would be located to another hotel but he wasn't having any of that.

As he was taken to one side to continue his remonstration, I came to the desk and said "It seems like our room has gone". It had and we were told to take a seat and a taxi would take us to another hotel. We accepted that and sat to wait on its arrival. Finally the other man accepted his inevitable fate and took another seat with his wife, still fully frustrated.

We were whisked off to the new hotel. It was a top quality establishment and much nicer. We crashed into bed and got up next morning to get our continental breakfast (which is what the other hotel was to provide) just before 10am. We found a wonderful buffet waiting, which was to close in just 10 minutes time. We quickly took all we needed and thoroughly enjoyed the food.

Your breakfast awaits you 

By not getting annoyed at losing our room, we finished up in superior accommodation. We both left feeling happy. Had we got upset, it would have got us nowhere. By accepting the situation we found some joy in the way things worked out. I never did see the other couple again, and did they get such a nice a hotel too? They certainly lost their joy that evening.

Contentment Is....

Some things that have given me contentment....


...letting go of the mistakes I have made in the past.

...not worrying about what ill informed people think of me.

...being at peace with my family.

...not holding any grudges.

...being satisfied with what I really need.

...doing what I can to be a peacemaker.

...realising today is the first day of the rest of my life.

...knowing I always give my best.

...satisfying my spiritual need.

...knowing that God offers me a wonderful future.

Happiness

Everyone wants to be happy. When you feel that way, all is well. However, it is an elusive feeling for many as things rob us of consistent happiness. So how can we gain and maintain it? First some things to examine.

1) Expectation. If expectations are high, then they are usually not realised and that leads to disappointment. Have lower expectations about life because many things are not as good as we would like.

2) Material aspirations. Society encourages us to want more, which is related to the last point. Advertisers assure us happiness comes from owning nice things. False. Once are basic needs are met, more things do nothing to make us feel better. In fact they can add worry, and load pressure on us to earn more to pay for it all.

3) Pleasures. This again may overlap with the previous point, but not always. Pleasure can include meeting material wants, but it covers so much more. Even if pleasures are inexpensive or free, they may not bring the happiness we sought. Inappropriate or selfish pursuits will leave us empty, hurt, and hurting others along the way. Wholesome fun in moderation will give us satisfaction.

I guess nothing discussed here is groundbreaking in content. It is too often ignored though, and doing that will fail to bring what they were supposed to do. A self-centred way of living will not bring us happiness. A simple, caring and giving lifestyle does.

PS. Reading the Bible portion of Matthew chapters 5 to 7 puts it much better than I do. 

A Lesson I Learned On Kindness

When my parents first arrived in Auckland, New Zealand, they were of modest material means. Immigrants often are. 

In due course they needed reliable car for the family. An 850cc Morris Minor was for sale nearby. 

The vendor was comfortably well off and was selling it in behalf of his aged mother, who was not able to drive any longer.

A test drive was undertaken and my parents were keen. The only problem was that it was a bit more than they could afford so they explained how much they could pay. This was back in the days when people paid cash or went without. The man replied another buyer was coming later and that he would decide then but he thought they would likely offer more money.

My parents were disappointed because the car was just what they needed, yet they knew it was almost certain that they would be outbid. Later the phone call came to say the car was theirs. They excitedly went to pick it up. The man then said that the other people were able to pay more, but he wanted our family to have it. He said he knew we needed it more, with a young family.

That car served us for many years and proved the ideal car for our us.  When my mother later told me what had happened, it became something I never forgot. Sometimes it isn't about money, it's about doing the kind thing. It was a lesson I learned and a principal I live with. Show kindness when you have the power to do so. It's something you cannot put a value on.

Just A Friendly Guy

Nicely Chosen Words

Life ends when you stop dreaming...


Hope ends when you stop believing...


Love ends when you stop caring...


Friendship ends when you stop sharing!

Chill Out

Sometimes you just need a break.

Time to reflect on life.

Meditating on where you are, who you are and where you are going.

It is good to remind yourself of what is truly important. Money and possessions are of only of value until they fulfill our basic needs.

What really matters is who you are, who you loved ones are your relationship with your Maker.

Enjoy your day and make time to think and reflect.

A Healthy Drink

Many mornings I start with a lemon honey drink. I squeeze dozens of lemons, pour the juice into freezer cube trays. Once frozen, they are then put into a container with a lid to keep them moist and remain in the freezer until required.

In the morning, I get a teaspoon of honey, a cube of lemon and add hot water. I have added a twist where I have started taking a shaving from a ginger root. The photograph shows the ingredients. Once cut, the ginger root is kept in a covered container in the fridge for longevity.

It makes a refreshing, healthy start for the day. If you prefer cold, after allowing time to draw flavour form the ginger, place in the fridge for a while first. Yum...

Ideal Times To Drink Water

Drinking water at certain time maximizes it's effectiveness on the body:

2 glasses of water after waking up - helps activate internal organs

1 glass of water 30 minutes before a meal - helps digestion

1 glass of water before taking a bath - helps lower blood pressure

1 glass of water before going to bed - avoids stroke or heart attack