Sunday, August 26, 2012

The Priest And The Rabbi

A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an aeroplane. After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, "Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?'

The rabbi responded, "Yes, that is still one of our laws."

The priest then asked, "Have you ever eaten pork?"

To which the rabbi replied,"Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich."

The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading. A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest, "Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?"

The priest replied, "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith." The rabbi then asked him, "Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?"

The priest replied, "Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke my Faith."

The rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silent, thinking, for about five minutes. Finally, the rabbi said, "Sure beats a ham sandwich, doesn't it?"

Delusional Cats

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

The Hair Dryer

A young woman on a flight asked the Priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?"

"Of course child. What is it?"

"Well, I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer. It is unopened but well over the Customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Hide it under your Robes perhaps?"

"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie."

"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."

When they got to Customs, she let the priest go first. The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"

"From the top of my head down to my waist I have nothing to declare."

The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"

"I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused."

Roaring with laughter, the official said,"Go ahead, Father. Next please!”


Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Tui Billboard Adverts: Part 3

It didn't take them long.....

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Thoughts To Reflect On

If you care too much about what other people think, you will always be their prisoner.

Sometimes it is about fixing something broken. Other times it is about starting again.

There comes a time when you have to let go of those who create pointless drama, and surround yourself with those who help you focus on good things.

That's right, I only exist to you when you need something.

If you didn't hear it with your own ears or see it with your own eyes, then why spread it with your big mouth?

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Movie Stars In My Town

I was walking though a car park area, when I came across these signs. I didn't know famous people parked where I lived without me even knowing about it! I thought I would wait for them to turn up but then I realised the paparazzi would have known about that, and they were conspicuous by their absence. So I decided to take the spots they park just to prove to the doubters among you that it is bona fide. Of course, if I get pics of the stars, I won't be posting them here as they will end up in the tabloid press. Could be a nice little earner...