Saturday, September 30, 2017

Blonde and Brunette Sisters

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. Upon leaving to check out a good prospect, the brunette tells her sister, 'Now, when I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.'

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. After paying him the $599 asking price, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, 'I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.'

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds,'It's just 99 cents a word.'

Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette has only $1 left, meaning she'll only be able to send her sister a one-word message. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, 'I want you to send her the word...'comfortable'.'

The telegraph operator shakes his head. 'How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word,'comfortable'?'

The brunette explains, 'My sister's a blonde so the word's big. She'll read it slowly...out loud... ('com-for-da-bul').'


Isn’t it nice when someone shows kindness to us in some way? It could be a thoughtful word, an offer of help, or even a caring smile as we pass. Kindness adds so much to other people, yet costs nothing to share.

I was helping an elderly lady in a supermarket the other day. She was very appreciative but then I sensed she got a little nervous as to why a stranger would want to help her. Time to back off and leave it at that I thought.

Still, being kind to others rewards both the giver and recipient. Wouldn’t it be nice to live in a world of kindness and trust? There is never a better time to start something good than now.

Monday, September 25, 2017

Adoption Hurdles

A couple who work at the traveling circus go to an adoption agency. Social workers there raise doubts about their suitability to adopt. The couple produces photos of their expensive, 50 foot Prevost motor-home, which is already equipped with a beautiful nursery.

The social workers then are doubtful about the education that the child would get. "We've arranged for a full-time tutor to travel with us who will teach the child all the usual subjects along with French, Mandarin and computer skills."

Then there are doubts about raising a child in a circus environment. "Our nanny/housekeeper is an expert in pediatric welfare and diet."

The social workers are finally satisfied. They ask, "What age and sex of child are you hoping to adopt?"

"It doesn't really matter, as long as it fits in the cannon."

Saturday, September 23, 2017

Christchurch Memorial - White Chairs

The chairs appeared on February 22, 2012, which was the first anniversary of the devastating Christchurch earthquake. Initially 185 white chairs were placed on the site of a demolished Church for just one week. 

People wanted them to stay around so they were moved to the site of another demolished church. they won't be able to stay here either but for now they are a major tourist attraction in the city. There is a poignancy about them. I took this photo in August 2017.

School Reunion Bragging

Rachel, Clare and Samantha haven't seen each other since High School. They rediscover each other via a reunion website and arrange to meet for lunch in a wine bar.

Rachel arrives first, wearing camel Versace. She orders a bottle of chilled chablis. Clare arrives shortly afterwards, in grey Chanel. After the required ritualised kisses she joins Rachel in a glass of chablis. Then Sam walks in, wearing a faded old Barbour anorak, blue jeans and Wellington boots. She too shares the wine.

Rachel explains that after leaving school and graduating from Oxford in Classics she met and married Timothy, with whom she has a beautiful daughter. Timothy is a partner in one of London 's leading law firms. They live in a 4000 sq ft house in North London , where Susanna, the daughter, attends drama school. They have a second home in the hills above Monte Carlo .

Clare graduated from King's College and became a Consultant Gynaecologist. Her husband, Clive, is a leading A&E Consultant. They live in Dulwich and have a second home in Florida .

Sam explains that she left school at 17 and ran off with her boyfriend, Ben. They run a tropical bird park in Norfolk and grow their own vegetables. Ben can stand four parrots, side by side, on his willy.

Half way down the third bottle of chablis, several hours later, Rachel blurts out the her husband is a clerk for Islington Council. They live in a terraced house in Muswell Hill and keep a caravan in France.

Clare, chastened and encouraged by her old friend's honesty, explains that she and Clive are nurses in King's College. They live in Herne Hill and have a timeshare in Orlando.

Samantha admits that the fourth parrot has to stand on one leg.

Friday, September 22, 2017

Signs With Irony

Like not trying to beat the tram 

Elementary spelling mistake

Not much help if you can't

Nothing like a real life example
to add dramatic effect

Some people don't really want to be fit

This is a sticky one

The Chopping Board - Yuck

We went to a motel in New Zealand and I think they gave us a room that hadn't been used for a while. How did we know? Well when we lifted out the chopping board it was covered in quite think mold. The picture doesn't do justice to it.

We took it across to the motelier who was very apologetic and gave us a nice quality, new replacement. it's one of those things as the rest of the motel room was clean and nicely presented.

Amazing Butterflies

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Christchurch In Pictures : 2017

Central City



New Brighton Pier Strengthening

Lyttleton Harbour

Sunday, September 3, 2017

Superb Design Equals Superb Designer

You cannot get superb design from random, unintelligent events. Look at the butterfly and admire its exquisite beauty. Its built in wisdom is incomprehensible. The life cycle, the inbuilt knowledge to fly, breed, feed and navigate are miraculous.

Now look at the flower. Again, what an amazing pattern. The seeds form this pattern to make maximum use of the space, allowing enough room for each seed to flourish yet with minimal space wastage. it took mathematicians to work it out. There are 34 clockwise and 21 counter-clockwise spirals. Of course a superb designer must have been behind it.