Wednesday, February 27, 2013

The Sugar Test

One day an Irishman goes into a pharmacy - reaches into his pocket and takes out a small Irish whiskey bottle and a teaspoon. He pours some onto the teaspoon and offers it to the chemist.

"Could you taste this for me, please?"

The chemist takes the teaspoon, puts it in his mouth, swills the liquid around and swallows it.

"Does that taste sweet to you?" says Paddy.

"No, not at all," says the chemist.

"Oh that's a relief," says Paddy. "The doctor told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar."

Monday, February 25, 2013

A Woman's Place

I saw this book title at my local library and showed it to my wife. To my surprise she wanted to get it out and read it. It is about the attitudes that prevailed regarding women of 40 - 50 years ago. Some of it would be called chauvinistic, but much of what is said is very sensible - if unpopular - in today's world.

One example is under 'Wedding Etiquette'. It says "The engagement ring should be provided by the young man immediately he obtains consent to the engagement, and should be worn by his fiancĂ©e when the engagement is announced...In fact it is correct today for the young man to escort the girl to the jewelers where she may select the ring of her choice."  I recall doing that with my bride-to-be.

These days, the ring is often presented at the time of asking for her hand. I prefer it the 'old fashioned way' as she should have the ring she likes, not one chosen for her. Plus, it dignifies the woman when her affirmative response is not assumed. She gives her consent and she chooses the ring she's about respect for women. 

So many of the old fashioned ways were not the best, but others were. The book also talks about chastity values that have been sadly lost in this world. If you can obtain a copy, it is well worth a read, and will give you a few chuckles. There are websites that sell the book. The publisher is Penguin Books and the author is described as Redmer Yska.

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Just Horsing Around

About the scandal in the UK, where horse meat has been detected in supposedly beef products? Places such as Burger King have had to admit that there are small amounts of horse meat in their burgers.

Within hours of the news that Tesco, a big supermarket chain in the UK, was selling beef hamburgers containing 30% horse meat, these quips were doing the rounds:

I’m so hungry, I could eat a horse ....I guess Tesco just listened!

Anyone want a burger from Tesco? Yay or neigh?

Not entirely sure how Tesco is going to get over this hurdle.

Waitress in Tesco asked if I wanted anything on my burger. So I had £5 each way!

Had some burgers from Tesco for my tea last night ... I still have a bit between my teeth.

A woman has been taken into hospital after eating horse meat burgers from Tesco. Her condition is said to be stable.

I've just checked the Tesco burgers in my freezer ... AND THEY'RE OFF"

Tesco now forced to deny presence of zebra in burgers, as shoppers confuse barcodes for serving suggestions.

Said to the missus, These Tesco burgers give me the trots....

"To beef or not to beef, that is equestrian".....

A cow walks into a bar. Barman says, "Why the long face?" Cow says "Illegal ingredients, coming over here, stealing our jobs!"

I hear the smaller version of those Tesco burgers make great hors(e) d'oeuvres.

These Tesco burger jokes are going on a bit .... talk about flogging a dead horse.

The Pope's New Title