Monday, September 29, 2014

The Embarrassing Phone Message.

I'm not really into tech things. I think most gadgets are more complicated than is necessary. I use them for their basic function and get on with real life. If you do decide to get into all the features, it takes hours studying the manual and wading through all the option you didn't want. The problem can be learning a little but not learning enough.

Once I had come in from mowing the lawn, hot and needing a shower. My wife was soon going to follow me in. I checked for any missed calls and remembered that you could leave a message on the phone that others could retrieve by pressing a button. I left a very cheeky message about going in the shower and after she had also, we could meet on the bed for...well that's enough for you to get what it was like. I called there was a message I had left for her an went for the clean up.

My wife came in the the bedroom and got dressed. I asked if she got the message and she said there was none there. I went and checked and there was no message. I decided it hadn't recorded and thought no more of it.

Two weeks later a friend of ours left a message when we were out and said we needed to check the answerphone message as there was something not right about it. I checked it and the missing invitation for my wife had become the public message. I was so embarrassed to think that for two weeks such a personal communication was heard by anyone who called.

Later I asked around as to why they didn't tell me. They all said they were surprised, but left it at that. Even the secretary where I work who often called never said anything, but said she wondered what was going on.


It just goes to show that you cannot always trust your friends to be honest with you. Also, don't play around with gadgets unless you know what you are doing.

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Persistent Birds

Each year a few bird couples who live in the small wood behind our house decide inside our roof is the place to build a nest. I am not great on bird types but they are like the one pictured here, the common starling.

Persistent doesn't even start to describe them. They make much noise setting up the nursery and feeding their young, not to mention the mess they leave. We try to stop them before they start by blocking up areas before they can build the nest, giving them time to go elsewhere. The problem is they are not deterred by obstructions, but set about removing them.
Our defence against birds

The other day they were very noisy and so I went out, jumped and slapped the gutting with my hand to scare them off yet again. The bird was off, but as I retreated back inside I still heard scuffling in the gutter. I turned around repeated the dose for a second offender, but the noise continued. Then suddenly the bird half flopped out of the guttering, clearly caught on something. I assumed the netting to stop them. I got a ladder and went up to investigate. The bird had caught its foot in an upward V cut in the steel the roof is made of.

It flapped frantically seeing me so close, the foot was ruined and blood was spattered around. I got a stick and the leg was then pushed down and off it went. I would say the foot had been lost as anything useful. It wasn't nice to see.
The offending gap in the middle

The good news is that the birds in the area have been less frequent visitors to the roof, that corner in particular has not seen a bird since. They are without doubt clever, although not smart enough to know how to get it's trapped leg out. A flick with a stick and it was done.

We cleaned up the mess for the picture on the left. Hopefully the couple found a suitable place in the woodland for nesting. We can now get a sleep-in instead of hearing them make a racket.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Parenting With A Difference, Shall We Say

Some parents are overly protective, but others too much the other way. Keeping them safe is a parents job. So too is moral guidance. Below are some examples of errors of judgment, and ... I'll let you decide.

Probably just not thinking where she is! 

They may not have seen this side 

Not sure what they plan but hopefully not driving

Hard to believe this allowed anywhere


Against zoo rules for a reason

A very poor moral decision

Why do we need hand guns anyway?

Less said the better

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Should Have Gone To Specsavers

Now look at the advertisement at the point of impact....

Don't Try This At Home

Thursday, September 11, 2014


A man went to trial for armed robbery. The jury foreman came out and announced, "Not guilty."

"That's grand!" shouted the man. "Does that mean I can keep the money?"


Female customer: "Could I try on that dress in the window?"

Shopkeeper: "I'd prefer that you use the dressing room."


Wife shouted from the kitchen, "Is that you I hear spitting in the vase on the mantle piece?"

"No," said the husband. Then to wind her up he replied "But I'm getting closer all the time."


A frantic husband phoned the maternity ward at the hospital. "Quick!" he said. "Send an ambulance, the baby is about to come!"

"Tell me, is this her first baby?" the intern asked.

"No, this is her husband speaking."


"I wanted to be a priest," the young man said. "But then I thought about giving up sex, then people coming in and have to listen to them telling me the details and highlights of theirs?

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Monday, September 1, 2014

Portable BBQs

Seems a bit over the top. A closer look below

Apparently the biggest. I won't argue that one

A more modest effort, but still plenty of cooking going on

After the game, the appetite needs to be sated

More for style than cooking capacity

A very practical effort. Loads of cooking area