Sunday, April 29, 2012

Short Jokes


A man admitted to being addicted to brake fluid, but he reckoned he could stop any time.

The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death.

I went to the cemetery and I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin, 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it. I thought they've lost the plot!

My daughter asked me for a pet spider, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £10! I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.

I was at an ATM yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over.

I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move.

I was driving this morning when I saw a parked AA van. The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. I thought to myself that guy's heading for a breakdown.

My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, can you believe that, 2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.

I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice! At least I presume she was poor - she only had £1.20 in her purse.

I woke up last night to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor standing at the foot of my bed. At first I was afraid.......then I was petrified.

A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me around and talking behind my back. He says what do you expect? You're in a wheelchair.

Thoughts To Think On

Never sacrifice who you are just because someone has a problem with it.

Do not give up too easily as the beginning is always the hardest.

Speak the truth even if your voice trembles.



The happiest people don't have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything.

To make your dreams come true, you first need to wake up.

Judging a person does not define them, rather it defines you.

Apologising does not always mean you are wrong and they are right. It means that you value your relationship more than your ego.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Dark Chocolate Treats

I have a penchant for dark chocolate; in fact I cannot even enjoy milk chocolate anymore. We get dark chocolate in a slab, but we also buy dark cooking chocolate too. What we do with the cooking variety is melt it in a microwave safe glass container in 40 second bursts, then dip various items in it as treats. Below are pictured some of the things we do.

First up is licorice. We cut it into almost one inch lengths, then held by tooth picks they are dipped into the melted chocolate. They are then placed on baking paper to cool. As shown, they go very well with fresh walnuts. Yum.



In the next photo, pumpkin, sesame and sunflower seeds, diced almonds and crystallised ginger are stirred into a portion of melted choc, then placed on baking paper or paper cases to set. Very healthy.



Finally, pieces of crystallised ginger are dipped into the hot choc held with tooth pics and again left to set.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Five Top Regrets

Bonnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai, which she later put her observations into a book called 'The Top Five Regrets of the Dying'. Ware writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how we might learn from their wisdom. "When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently," she says, "common themes surfaced again and again."

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

"This was the most common regret of all. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made."

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

"Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved."

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

"Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."

Sunday, April 15, 2012

The Fig Season

I do love fresh figs and 'tis the season for them here. Sweet and juicy, they are also full of fibre. Ahhh...