Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Brexit Jokes

A form of Brexit occured years ago. They were known as the Pilgrim Fathers.

This could lead to Departugal, Italeave, Czechout, Oustria, Finish, Slovakout, Netherun, Byegium. Only Germaining.

Roy (England's Football coach) must have misunderstood when he heard England wanted out of Europe immediately.

A number of English fans are protesting the England V Iceland game to be replayed until they get a result they are happy with.

Another referendum will now be held to see if the rest of the UK want Scotland to Brexit?

Britain has left voluntarily, but Greece is refusing to budge.

Sunday, June 26, 2016

Insuring A Wooden Leg

The wife had a wooden leg and to insure it in Britain was £200 a year! They decided not to bother.

Later, they moved to Ireland and they went to an insurance agency to see how much it would cost to insure the wooden leg there. The agent looked it up on the computer and said to the couple, '£39.00.'

The husband was shocked and asked why it was so cheap here in Ireland to insure, because it would have cost him £200.00 in England! The agent turned his computer screen to the couple and said, 'Well, here it is on the screen,it says "Any wooden structure, with a sprinkler system over it, is £39.00".

Saturday, June 18, 2016

Recommended Book Titles: Part 5

Know Your Gem Stones by Chris Tall
Top Casserole Dishes by Stu Potts
How To Build A House by Bill Jerome Holm
School Vacation Ideas by I. M. Board
Urinary Incontinence by Lee King
The Arctic Seas by I.C. Waters
Don't Leave Without Me by Isa Cummin
Strenuous Exercise by A. King
Always Wanting Extras by Ernie Moore
Planning Your Future by Crystal Ball
Maintain Happiness by Joy Long
Domesticated Wife by Dustin Cook
Budgeting by Penny Pincher
Giving Comfort by Rhea Shaw

Others in the series: Part OnePart Two Part Three & Part Four.

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Men & Marriage

A frustrated husband in front of his laptop talking to himself about Google :

Why are you behaving like my wife? Allow me to complete my sentence before you start guessing & suggesting.


A man brings his best buddy home for dinner unannounced at 5:30 after work. His wife begins screaming at him and his friend just sits and listens in. "My hair and makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight ! Why the hell did you bring him home?"

Husband answers: "Because he's thinking of getting married"

Sunday, June 12, 2016

Play Board / Card Games

When I was young, we played board games like Snakes 'n Ladders, Ludo and Draughts (Checkers in the US). Then we moved onto Monopoly, Scrabble and other similar, harder games. All through that time we played card games too.

Today, you can play games online or just constantly text to keep life interesting. That is what people often do rather than the more traditional sort of game. Is there any benefit to playing the more traditional board and card games face to face with people? I believe it is and here are some benefits. Of course, you need to play with the right attitude and treat it as fun to gain from them.

Strengthens relationships with family and friends. Interacting with others in a happy, enjoyable setting increases your closeness to others.

Makes you laugh. Merriment is a medicine and played with the right spirit, games should make you do anything from giggle and roar with laughter. See the game as a fun thing, not a must win situation. You can still be competitive but a good loser will have fun regardless of the outcome.

Good for your brain. Games require memory, strategy and sometimes teamwork. All that gives the grey cells a good work out.

Games make you forget stressful issues for a while or perhaps even see them in a more realistic way. Engaging with people we like can put things into perspective. Laughter is good for the immune system and digestion. Happy people feel better about themselves and life in general.

We also give to others when we reach out for them. Without words, we tell them we like them and that they matter to us. Making others feel good is good for our well being. So why not organise a game with family or freinds? If someone invites you, get involved and make it fun for yourself and everyone else.

Friday, June 10, 2016

Recommended Book Titles: Part 4

This Wonderful World by N. Tranced
Leo Tolstoy by Warren Peace
Beating Paranoia by Y. Mee
Antique Furniture by Chester Field
Tree Felling Safety by Tim Burr
Future Of Fossil Fuel by M.T. Tank
Military Rule by Marshall Law
Off To Market by Tobias A. Pigg
Keeping Busy by Sally Forth
Third World Travel by Dusty Rhodes
Keeping Fit by Jack B. Nimble

Others in the series: Part One, Part Two Part Three & Part Five.