Tuesday, April 27, 2010

The Music Industry

The music moguls have been smart in the past. They signed up certain good artists and paid them well to produce music and keep them in the fold. They then produced albums with one or a few good hit songs, and filled the rest of it with music of variable quality. This led to big money making and the music lover had to take it or leave it. I realised what was going on early, so waited patiently for greatest hits albums to avoid being ripped off.

Well, the worm has turned. Along came digital music and the internet. The music companies could have run with this new technology. Imagine had they promptly set up machines in music stores where you could create your own CDs off lists of songs. Once selection was complete, you paid and walked out with only music you wanted. They could have provided you a cover that you chose, and printed the song titles on it for you.

The problem is, that would hurt the bottom line. The system of fleecing the public outlined above would be over. Mind you, better to make some money and keep better control. But in trying to protect the existing order and do nothing, sites popped up on the internet offering cheap or free music. It has now devalued what people expect to pay to the point that no one is going to make money from the industry like they once did.

The music companies worked out how much downloading was done, and said that is what it was costing them. However, this ignores the fact that the vast majority of free downloads would not have been purchased in anything like that quantity if they had to be paid for. It also ignores the fact that talent within the industry has been drying up. Where are the artists of the talent of The Beatles today? The music industry would be on a slow but steady decline anyway without the same quality of talent.

No, the music industry, blinded by greed, failed to act with new technologies and now sits back and bewails the current situation. At least artists who would have been shut out of the old system can now use these technologies to get out into the public awareness.

The old system is dead, long live the new one.

Rules To Live Your Life By

Indecision is the key to flexibility.

Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings; they did it by killing all those who opposed them.

Doing the job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.

Teamwork means never having to take all the blame yourself.

Aim low, reach your goals and avoid disappointment.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

I don't suffer from stress, I am a carrier.

A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick up the rear.

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

If you’re good you will be assigned all the work. If you’re really good, you will get out of it.

You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

I've always wanted to be somebody, but maybe I should have been more specific.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Have A Drink

I drink when I'm happy and when I'm sad.
Sometimes I drink when I'm alone.
When I have company I consider it obligatory.
I trifle with it if I'm not hungry and drink it when I am.
Otherwise I never touch it - unless I'm thirsty.

Unfortunately, some people live by the maxim above. Consumed moderately, alcohol generally produces feelings of relaxation and cheerfulness. Low doses of alcohol increase total sleep time and reduce awakening during the night. The strongest medical evidence exists for the link between moderate drinking and a reduced risk of heart disease.

When imbibed, alcohol flows through the blood stream and is metabolized by the liver, where the alcohol is broken down by enzymes. The liver can, on average, metabolize about one standard drink (one 12 ounce bottle of beer (about UK 340ml, US 350ml), one 4 ounce glass of wine (115/118ml) or 1.5 ounces of 40% alcohol (40/45ml) in one hour.

Some say alcohol is a drug. I call it a food. Food alters your mood and is good for you in moderation. Some people get addicted to food and become obese, hurting themselves. Erm, that sounds like alcohol too. I personally do not over eat and have never been intoxicated with any alcoholic drink. Therefore neither is a drug to me. They both nourish and enrich my life. One thing I do before drinking alcohol, is have a large glass of water (never chilled). Then I drink one standard drink, and usually eat a meal afterward. It works well for me.

PS. For some, even one drink is one too many. For those, abstinence is essential.

I Don't Need Glasses...

PS. Not the sort of drinking I recommend, simply humourous to me.

PPS. Photo Available from:

Friday, April 23, 2010

Fresh Figs

Figs are a member of the Mulberry family. Figs are a good source of potassium, a mineral that helps to control blood pressure. Figs are a good source of dietary fiber, calcium, a mineral that has many functions including promoting bone density. Figs are beneficial for constipation, digestion, anemia and help protect against cancer.

But the best thing is that fresh figs are sweet, full of interesting textures and juicy. In the area I live, there are quite a few fig trees, nothing commercial but private trees. Some have come my way this year and boy, they are lovely. Fruit that is tree ripened is so much tastier.

Amazingly, all this fig eating hasn't sent me scurrying to the toilet every five minutes. So if you can get some, give fresh figs a try. They are delicious.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Men are like...

Men are like...

... newborn babies. They're cute at first, but you get tired of picking up their rubbish.
... computers. Hard to figure out and never enough memory.
... coolers. Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.
... chocolate bars. Sweet, smooth and they usually head right for your hips.
... remote controls. Simple. Easy to use. And usually lying around near a TV.
... shag carpets. Soft, fuzzy and extremely easy to walk on.
... vacuum cleaners. They're not much fun, but at least you get to push them around.
... road kill. They usually just lie around until they start to smell.
... soap operas. They're fun to watch, but don't believe everything you hear.
... pillows. Eventually, even the best ones get soft and lumpy.
... old car tires. Balding, full of hot air, and it never hurts to have a spare.
... plastic wrap. Cheap. Clingy. and very easy to see through.
... horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
... plungers. They spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom.

PS. Just as well I'm not like that.

NZ's SkyTV, The Last Word In Incompetence

To get virtually any sports coverage on NZ television, You have to subscribe to SkyTV. With that however, you get about 100 other channels of every type and therefore pay excessively for mostly what you don't want. Of course, that is the tip of the iceberg. The other problem is they are a virtual monopoly, as the recent competition doesn't have the purse to buy anything decent.

With any company that has a stranglehold on a market comes complacency. After that comes incompetence. To send an email expressing any problems you have is difficult as they want you to go through lists of predetermined answers. They never help me. When you finally leave a question (not a complaint as they only want questions), the answer comes back from someone who either didn't read what you said properly, or cannot comprehend what he/she reads. I know because the 'answers' (I use that term lightly) never address what you asked.

I cancelled my SkyTV subscription a few years ago because of the above reasons but most New Zealanders are too apathetic, thereby rewarding being ripped off and getting second rate service. Unfortunately, SkyTV own a free to air channel too, giving you the same rubbish treatment if you bother to enquire of anything.

The bottom line: If you live in NZ, do not use SkyTV and if you are unhappy, vote with your feet. If you live in a country with real competition in the television industry, be grateful.

Monday, April 12, 2010


Our lives get cluttered. We end up with so many 'things'. 'Things' we often do not really need. It is so tempting when shopping to see something we think we need, but we could have done without it. We may not even think of where we are going to put it. It gets fitted in somewhere and helps to fill up our living space. Because it is a gradual process, we don't notice it.

Our lounge was feeling full as it had more chairs than we needed or used. So the other day I decided to take one lounge chair out of the living room and rearrange the remaining furniture. It created an air of openness and makes the room feel larger. Even friends say it has had that effect. Of course, any husband attempting this without his other half's permission needs to be aware of the consequences if it doesn't work out as envisioned. Always be able to return all items removed to preserve marital harmony and in some cases, for self preservation.

The photo below shows how it worked in our lounge and it was greeted enthusiastically by the management. I don't have 'before and after' views but be assured our modest living room is the better for it. Men can have talent for such things, it just needs to be encouraged and developed.


This blog is called Light 'N Funny so the above title may seem somewhat incongruous, or out of harmony with this blogs ethos. However, I intend to keep it suitably positive. Plus I've changed the name to include opinion.

The hatred I refer to is the sort exhibited toward people of a certain nation, race or tribe. It just does not add up and I will explain why. Often people will associate with a person or persons 'different' to themselves and really like them, enjoy their company and generally be upbeat about them. Then later, talking of the people they come from collectively, suddenly express negative and prejudiced feelings. How can you get on with individuals of a nation, race or tribe but dislike the same people as a group? It's unreasonable. This tendency has been used throughout history by those in power to cause war and even unspeakable crimes against humanity.

The solution is to avoid viewing people as groups and accept all of humanity as individuals. Some people you will be drawn to, others not. Some will be extend kindness, others will be unkind and even hurtful. Its not a group of people being kind or otherwise, but only an individual. This is in harmony with the view of our creator, who inspired Peter to write in Acts 10: 34,35 "I now realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism, but accepts men from every nation who fear him and do what is right". NIV.

Being open minded about people is uplifting. It shows us to be reasonable and kind. It also breaks down prejudice and intolerance. We should never lump people into categories in order to feel negative feelings toward them collectively. Then we will prove that our hearts are instep with the one who made all of us.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Things To Ponder 1

1. Whose cruel idea was it to put an "S" in the word Lisp?

2. If someone with multiple personalities threatens suicide is it considered a hostage situation?

3. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

4. Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?

5. Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all?

6. Do they use sterilised needles for lethal injections?

7. What WAS the best thing BEFORE sliced bread?

8. Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?

9. If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes"?

10. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

Vincent Van Gogh's family tree

(His surname is pronounced 'go').

His dizzy aunt --- Verti Gogh
The brother who ate prunes --- Gotta Gogh
The grandfather from Yugoslavia --- Gogh
The cousin from Illinois --- Chica Gogh
His magician uncle --- Where-diddy Gogh
His Mexican cousin --- mee Gogh
The constipated uncle --- Can't Gogh
The ballroom dancing aunt --- Tang Gog
The bird loving uncle --- Flamin Gogh
His nephew psychoanalyst --- E Gogh
The fruit loving cousin --- Man Gogh
The little bouncy nephew --- Poe Gogh
A sister who loved disco --- Go Gogh
The brother who worked at a convenience store --- Stop n Gogh
The Mexican cousin's American half-brother --- Gring Gogh
The nephew who drove a stage coach --- Wells-far Gogh
An aunt who taught positive thinking --- Way-to Gogh
And his niece who travels the country in a van --- Winnie Bay Gogh

Well, there you Gogh!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Self Contradicting Phrases - Top 30

30. Small crowd
29. Found missing
28. Good grief
27. Same difference
26. Almost exactly
25. Alone together
24. Legally drunk
23. Silent scream
22. Living dead
21. Act naturally
20. Butt Head
19. New classic
18. Sweet sorrow
17. "Now, then ..."
16. Passive aggression
15. Taped live
14. Clearly misunderstood
13. Peace force
12. Extinct Life
11. Plastic glasses
10. Terribly pleased
9. Political science
8. Tight slacks
7. Definite maybe
6. Minor disaster
5. Pretty ugly
4. Diet ice cream
3. Working vacation
2. Exact estimate
1. Microsoft Works (!!)

Modern Definitions

Abdicate: To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Carcinoma: A valley in California, notable for its heavy smog.

Esplanade: To attempt an explanation while drunk.

Willy-nilly: Impotent.

Flabbergasted: Appalled over how much weight you have gained.

Negligent: A condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.

Lymph: To walk with a lisp.

Coffee: A person who is coughed upon.

Balderdash: A rapidly receding hairline.