Marriage Jokes

Wife: 'What are you doing?'

Husband: Nothing.

Wife: 'Nothing? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'

Husband: 'I was looking for the expiration date.'

Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'

Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'

Girl:'We'll that's because we aren't married yet.'

Wife: 'Do you want dinner?'
Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?'

Wife: 'Yes or no.'

Son: 'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a beautiful young lady.'
Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.'

Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'

A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'
'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, no matter who left you the fortune!'

A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humour!'

Husband: "When I die I'm going to leave everything to you my love!"
Wife: "You already do, you lazy so 'n so!"

A man sitting at home on the verandah with his wife when she hears him say, "I love you."
She asks, "Is that you or the beer talking?"
He replies, "It's me............. talking to the beer."

PS. Despite the jokes, marriage is a divine arrangement that can and should bring long lasting happiness.