The 'i' Car Is Here!

There are many 'i' cars out there, referring to electric models. For example, the Jaguar i-Pace is a drivers car, with plenty of speed. Using that analogy, here are some suggestions for future models. 

i-Dyllic: For the quiet, peaceful car that wafts us down the road. Most likely a luxury model.

i-Gloo: Suitable for colder climes, where the occupants are kept warm despite external temperatures. May also be popular with hobbyists. 

i-Deal: A model that has broad appeal and has many happy owners. Easy on the pocket too. 

i-Rony: Driven by someone who you would never have imagined would buy that sort of car.

i-Diot: Especially for the motorist who does the daftest things or is prone to holding other drivers up.

i-Rate: Either for those who think they are superior drivers or who easily descend into road rage. 

What Am I Driving?

Below there are riddles that identify which model car I drive. If you cant work it out, there is a clue further down the page numbered the same as the riddle. If you still can't work it out, leave a message I will reveal the answer.

1) I went to a dance class and people jokingly said my car suited it perfectly. 

2) My car is a free spirited model, harking back to the American wild west.

3) My car is very quick.

4) I think they should have named my car the Arabica. 

5) I went to a multistory car park, but on my return, I realised I hadn't take note of which floor I had parked on.

6) My wife had an accident in the car. I wanted to support her by saying she was in the right but it was her fault.

************************

If you have to peek....

1) It's a small Honda hatchback. (Honda Jazz)

2) I sometimes just horse around in it. (Ford Mustang)

3) It's as quick as a bird. (Ford Falcon)

4) It's a new model Hyundai. (Hyundai Kona)

5) I was in a hurry and lost my focus. (Ford Focus)

6) I couldn't defend her. (Land Rover Defender)

The Intercity 125

I went to the UK in 1979 on a holiday, which included a month-long rail pass to get around the country. The most enduring memory of that was the 125 train, so named for its top speed of 125 mph. I recall going through stations which we didn't stop at so quickly, they were passed in a blink of an eye. 

They were introduced to give the railways in the UK a boost and that they did. The advert to the side shows how trip times were part of the campaign. In this case, it promoted the idea that trains were a speedy way to get around the country. 

Designed in just 20 months, these diesel-powered trains were not expected to run as long as they did but they have now finally bit the dust. Built between 1976 and 1982, they have been in service for over 40 years, not bad for a stopgap measure. 

For more: https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-south-yorkshire-57069437

The Drunk Needed A Push

A man and his wife were awoken at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The husband reluctantly got up and went to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, was asking for a push. "Not a chance," said the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!" He slamed the door and returned to bed.

"Who was that?" asked his wife.

"Just some drunk asking for a push," he answered.

"Did you help him?" she asked.

"No, I didn't, it is 3:00 in the morning and it's pouring with rain out there!"

"Well, you have a short memory," said his wife. "Can't you remember about six months ago when we broke down and were stranded, those two guys helped us get home? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself"

The man did as he is told, got dressed, put on his hat and raincoat and went out into the pounding wind and rain. He called out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there mate?"

"Yes," came back the answer.

"Do you still need a push?" called out the husband.

"Yes, please!" came the reply from the dark.

"Where are you?" asked the husband.

"Over here on the swing," replied the drunk

The Car Thieves

The proud owner of a magnificent 1956 Chevrolet convertible wrote to say he had restored the car to perfection over the last few years. On a very warm summer afternoon, he decided to take his car to town. It needed fuel, as the gauge was practically on empty, but he wanted ice cream, so he headed first to his favorite ice cream shop.

He had trouble finding a parking space and had to park the car down a side street. He noticed a group of young guys standing around smoking cigarettes and eyeing his car rather covetously. He was a bit uneasy leaving it there, but people often take interest in such an old and well-preserved car, so he went off to enjoy his ice cream. The line at the ice cream shop was long and it took him quite a while to return to his car. When he did, his worst fears were realized… his car was gone.

He called the police and reported the theft and then went back and bought another ice cream. About ten minutes later the police called him to say they had found the car abandoned near a service station a few miles out of town. It was unharmed and he was relieved.

It seems just before he called, the police had received a call from a young woman who was an employee at a self-service station. She told them that three young men had driven in with this beautiful old convertible. One of them came to the window and prepaid for 20 dollars worth of fuel. Then all three of them walked around the car. Then they all got in the car and drove off, without filling the tank.

The question is, why would anybody steal a car, pay for petrol that they never filled and then abandon the car later and walk away? I guess we will never know.

Old Farm Tractor Convoy In NZ

Safe Around Vehicles

Selfish Parking

We have all seen it, people parking without consideration for others.

Some won't be put off by that though, 
especially if they have an SUV vehicle. 

I assume they are left hand drive 
so vehicle ingress will be a challenge.

How about the blockade method? It lets the inconsiderate 'parker' know that others do not appreciate such selfishness.

Hopefully they will realise their parking is rubbish

When they trundle out of the supermarket, they will get the point

The authorities can do something about it too.

It's time to clamp down on such parking

We can have no truck with such inconsiderateness

So that about wraps it up.

I would want to shrink with embarrassment if this happened

The Quickest Way To London

A man walks into a country pub somewhere in the countryside of England, not too far from London. As he has a quick drink, he says to the barman, ‘What’s the quickest way to London?’

The barman asks, ‘Are you walking or driving?’

Slightly nonplussed, the man says, ‘Driving.’

The barman says, ‘Aye, that’s definitely the quickest way.’

The Snow Plough

On a bitterly cold winter morning a husband and wife in Dublin were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snow plough can get through."

So the good wife went out and moved her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snow plough can get through".

The good wife went out and moved her car again.

The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park...." Then the electric power went out.

The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snow plough can get through?"

Then with the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married exhibit, the husband replied, "Why don't you just leave the car in the garage this time."

Parachute vs Plane

A parachutist and an aeroplane tangled recently at an airfield. No one was badly hurt, but it could have been so much worse. I would have thought the parachutist in the wrong, but either way a lucky escape for both.

You Just Can't Run On Empty

A man was driving down the road and ran out of petrol. Just at that moment, a bee flew in his window.

The bee said, 'What seems to be the problem?'

'I'm out of fuel,' the man replied.

The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away. Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to his car and into his fuel tank. After a few minutes, the bees flew out.

'Try it now,' said one bee..

The man turned the ignition key and the car started right up. 'Wow!' the man exclaimed, 'what did you put in my gas tank'?


BP.

Car Keys

Several days ago as I left a meeting I could not find my car keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing. Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the car park. My husband has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition.

As I scanned the car park I came to a terrifying conclusion! The car park was empty. I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.

Then I made the most difficult call of all. "Hello My Love", I stammered. "I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen."

There was a period of silence. I thought the call had disconnected, but then I heard his voice. He replied "I dropped you off!"

Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Could you come and get me please?"

He retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your car."

A House On The Move ... Not

What a tragedy! In hindsight, you may wonder if the bridge was built well enough, or whether the trucking firm was overly optimistic. I guess the answer to that will determine who pays for the damage. Either way a real headache sorting this out.

Boat With A View

This 90 year old cargo ship was decommissioned in 1981 and is now a holiday home at Lake Erie.

The Benson Ford Cargo ship at rest

You would think you were at sea

How's your vertigo?

Stately lounge room

Comfortable bedroom after a day on the high seas 

For more, please go to the Daily Mail.