|Mr Bean And A Long Sermon|
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty...but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.
Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.
If it tastes good spit it out.