The Feijoa

The Feijoa or acca sellowiana, is a plant that is very popular in New Zealand. It originated in South America but found its way to other countries with a sympathetic climate. The fruit itself has a scented flavour, which many many like but some cannot get to appreciate.

They can be cut in half and eaten with a spoon, as I have done in the photograph. They can be scooped into a bowl and marinated with honey, which softens them. They can be stewed, turned into jam or a topping. There are many ways to eat this delicious fruit. I have them fresh, as I did for breakfast this morning.

They keep well while in their skins, but deteriorate quickly if opened and not used in some way, like fruits generally. If you live in a country where they are available, make sure to eat them once you feel the skin softening slightly. Once you have acquired the taste, delightful.

Don't Forget Your Duck

The cartoon to the left shows a professor in the middle of   a crowded room. He is the only one without a duck. It suddenly dawns on him that he is different and he feels silly.

In society today, most people follow the crowd. It doesn't matter if it is silly or not, fitting in is the important thing. Young men who walk around with their trousers pulled half way down are a classic example. Not only is it stupid, it is possibly dangerous too. They could trip up or even deform themselves over time.

It gets even more dangerous when those in authority can get a population following them down a path that leads to genocide and other atrocities.

That is why I like this Far Side cartoon. For too many people it doesn't matter how silly (or worse) it is for them to carry a 'duck' around, they are the one that feels awkward if they are different.

Yet if we use our reasoning power, it is clear who the silly ones are, the ones with the herd mentality. Being different because you know it is a good choice is what counts. Feel comfortable and at ease when you haven't got your duck. Maybe you are the normal one.

Aunty Acid

Older people can get to a point where they cannot be bothered with things. I think Aunty Acid sums up how many older people feel....

Phyllis Diller: Part 2

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age. As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband. How about short and cheap?

My photographs don't do me justice; they just look like me.

There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor .

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee.

Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children.

I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.

It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core.



Source: Thanks to Anne in Canada.

Phyllis Diller: Part 1

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

Best way to get rid of kitchen odours: Eat out.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.

Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.

Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.

Source: Thanks to Anne in Canada.

Recommended Book Titles: Part 3

If you enjoy reading, may I suggest yet more of my favourite titles:

World War II by Tom E. Gunn
Saving For A Rainy Day by Justin Case
How Was Your Date? by Terry Bull
Advertising Tips by Bill Board
How To Lose Weight by Will Power
Diminishing Swampland by
Duane Pipes
What Car To Buy by Iona Ford
Hanging drapes by Kurt & Rod
The King Of Spades by Doug Garden
The Dangerous Run by Cliff Trotter
Handy Video Tips by Cam Korda
Myth Busting by I de Bunk
Kiddies Games by I. Spy
Summer Respite by Claudia Day

For more, try Part 1, Part Two Part Four & Part Five.

Recommended Book Titles: Part 2

If you enjoy reading, may I suggest some more of my favourite titles:

Computer Problems by Vi Russ
The Overweight Man by Phil Upton
The Fugitive by I. Leggett
Know Your Flowers by Rose Budd
Respectful Prayer by Neil Down
Our Big Family by A.Rabbit
The Bald Man by N. O’Hare
Animal Rearing by Ivor Ramsbottom
Full Moon by Seymour Butt
Getting Rich by Robin Banks
Negative Thinking by Will Knott
Touching your Toes by Ben Dover
Avoiding Detection by Bob Down
Scary Monsters by Frank N. Stein
The Shoot by Clay Pidgeon
Springtime by May Flowers
No Tomorrow by Liv Forday
Asian Holiday by Rick Shaw

Others in the series: Part One, Part Three, Part Four & Part Five.

Animals At Large - Part 1

Sometimes It's All You Can Do Just To Hang On

Hair extensions on horses don't work

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer

I hate horror movies

Get up here and stop messing about

Nothing like the wind in your face

For others in the series, please click on part two, part three, part four, part five. and part six

School Boy Howlers

Q: What's green and fights injustice in The West?

A: The Lone Gherkin.

Q: What goes 1, 2...99, clomp. 1, 2...99, clomp?

A: A centipede with a wooden leg.

Q: What goes black, white, black, white, black, white?

A: A penguin rolling down a hill.

Q: What goes black, white, red, black, white, red, black, white, red?

A: A nun rolling down a hill with a blood nose.

Q: What's black and goes through custard at 40 miles per hour?

A: A prune with an outboard motor.

Q: What's green and sings?

A: Elvis Parsley.

Q: What's massive and goes to the ball in glass slippers?

A: Cinderelephant.


For part one, please click here.

Just Three Parachutes

Four people are in a small plane, the pilot, a scientist, a minister and a boy scout. The craft develops a mechanical problem and they are too far away from anywhere to land the aircraft safely. When it becomes apparent that there is one parachute too few, the pilot grabs one parachute and says his aviation skills are too important to waste as he leaps from the craft. The scientist grabs a second parachute and states his mind is too valuable to be lost to mankind and likewise jumps out.

The minister says to the boy scout "You are too young to die so take the last parachute and go".

The boy scout replies "It's OK, there are still two parachutes left, one for each of us".

The minister says "How is that possible" as he and the boy hastily put their parachutes on.

"Well", he explained "the brains of the world just took my back pack".