Misplaced Values

I keep seeing this picture around the Internet with a supposedly fascinating headline. I simply see it as a man who's values are misplaced. Why would someone without a home buy a supercar? A poor decision!

Any rational thinking would place many things above this sort of choice. It was probably this kind of confused thinking that got him homeless in the first place. I haven't visited the site because its just too ridiculous to interest me. He looks unhappy as well.  Does he now realise his folly?

Exaggerated Job Descriptions

What do you think of these job descriptions?

1) Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminium & steel

2) Director of first impressions.

3) Assembler and demonstrator of modular systems.

4) Media distribution officer.

5) Colour distribution technician.

6) Road environmental hygienist

7) Transparency enhancement facilitator.

8) Sanitation engineer.

9) Mobile sustenance facilitator.

10) Communication executive.

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Now for the real job description:

1) Washing dishes.

2) Receptionist.

3) Vacuum cleaner salesman.

4) Paperboy.

5) Painter

6) Street sweeper.

7) Window washer.

8) Refuse collector.

9) Food truck worker.

10) Call center worker.

My Upbringing Affected Me

Parents can have a profound effect on their children. It's a serious subject but in this instance, it will take a light hearted turn. If some of the things were were told as children were taken literally, it would be confusing, frustrating or even lead us in the wrong direction.

For example, my mother always seem to know what I was doing, even if she didn't seem to be looking. She said it was because "I have eyes in the back of my head". I used to look but the long hair meant I couldn't see them. I'm glad I didn't take after her in that way because I wouldn't want eyes there.

If I was being scolded but found it amusing, I was told to "Wipe that smile off your face". Now I have my features pushed to one side with all the wiping.

Mum used to wonder why my school grades were so poor. If only she realised it was her own fault. She kept telling me "Don't you be smart".

I was also told at times to "You had better pull your socks up!" I found that so frustrating because I wouldn't even be wearing long socks!

Another annoyance was when mum would say "Two can play at that game". The thing is I wasn't playing a game at the time and we didn't end up playing one either.

If I was crying in a whinging way one of my parents would say "Stop your crying or I will give you something to cry about". I already had something to cry about. I didn't need another reason!

I went out with a lovely young lady but I found out she had an unusual nickname 'Trouble'. For that reason I didn't go out with her again. How did mum know that I was going to meet a girl with that name? She would often say "Now don't you go courting trouble".

Exaggerated Sayings

My mum loved sayings and I've forgotten more than I can remember. They were often exaggerations which fascinated me as a child. Here are some of them:

You could have knocked me over with a feather.

Meaning: Something was seen or heard that was so shocking or surprising that it leaves a person weak enough for a light feather to knock them off their feet.

Likelihood: A feather is rarely at hand to try out the validity of this saying. We can indeed go weak in the knees if shocked in some way. A person can even collapse in extreme cases.

Summary: A person wouldn't fall over with a waft of a feather but it is an effective word picture.

Rating: 8/10.
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I look (or feel) like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards.

Meaning: One's appearance looking rough and untidy, especially hair and clothing. Experiencing this would certainly shake one up.

Likelihood: I've never known of anyone going though that ordeal. I can't explain why it would happen either.

Summary: It is an expressive way of describing a person's appearance.

Rating: 8/10.
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I feel like I've been hit (or run over) by a bus.

Meaning: Obviously not feeling well at all.

Likelihood: There obviously have been people hit by a large vehicle such as a bus, some even surviving. However, the person using the saying isn't a survivor of this horrendous collision but exaggerating their situation.

Summary: I think it goes a bit too far but does have a strong message.

Rating: 6/10.
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I could eat a horse and chase the rider.

Meaning: Used to emphasise extreme hunger.

Likelihood: Horse meat is consumed in some countries but there is far too much of it for one person to eat. Suggesting that the hunger is so bad that even a horse wouldn't suffice, is the addition that the famished individual would be after the rider too. Rather silly.

Rating: 4/10.
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Shutting the gate after the horse has bolted.

Meaning: Someone only acting to correct or save a situation after the damage has already been done.

Likelihood: I'm sure people wouldn't bother to close the gate if they knew their horse was already at large.

Summary: It does show how some people are slow to act when they need to. They then vainly try to fix the issue when it is too late. I like the image it creates and lesson taught.

Rating: 10/10.

LocaL Butcher's Promotion Evening

I recently went to an evening at the local butchery. They had nibbles and drinks available.

It was called 'Meat & Greet'.

Songs With Meaning - Part 3

If a song summed up a person, group of people or the like, what would be an ideal choice? Here are a few suggestions from me.

A doubtful person:
How Will I Know? - Whitney Houston.

Morning after drinker:
Tequila Sunrise - The Eagles.

Grump:
Leave Me Alone - Helen Reddy.

Beans or broccoli eater:
One Way Wind - The Cats.

Unfit runner:
Breathless - The Corrs.

A person feeling unpopular:
Am I That Easy To Forget? - E Humperdinck.

Person driving in circles:
Right Back Where We Started From - Maxine Nightingale.

Politicians before an election:
I'd Love You To Want Me - Lobo.

Regretful voter:
If I Knew Then What I Know Now - Various artists.

Songs With Meaning - Part 2

If a song summed up a person, group of people or the like, what would be an ideal choice? Here are a few suggestions from me in the second in the series.

Regular loser:
You Win Again - Bee Gees.

House owner with a tin roof:
I Love A Rainy Night - Eddie Rabbit.

Procrastinator:
Maybe Tomorrow - Golden Horse. (NZ group).

Japanese train passenger:
Crush - Jennifer Paige.

Hopeful lottery winner:
I Should Be So Lucky - Kylie Minogue.

Visitor to Lourdes:
All I Need Is A Miracle - Mike & the Mechanics.

Husband impatiently waiting for his wife:
I'm Ready - Tracy Chapman.

Husband with a talkative wife:
(You say it best) When You Say Nothing At All - Ronan Keating.

What dictators think:
Everybody Wants To Rule The World - Tears For Fears.

Songs With Meaning - Part 1

If a song summed up a person, group of people or the like, what would be an ideal choice? Here are a few suggestions from me.

Stalker:
Every Breath You Take (I'll be watching you) - Police.

Manchester, England:
It's Raining Again - Super Tramp.

Chilled out person:
Why Worry? - Dire Straits.

Ignoramus:
Don't Know Why - Nora Jones.

Night owl:
Late In The Evening - Paul Simon.

Obsessive compulsive disorder:
Do It Again - Steely Dan.

Lost driver:
Where Am I Going To? - Evita.

Hiking club:
Climb Every Mountain - Sound of Music.

Someone too keen to marry:
I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do - ABBA.

Road Sign Overkill

You would think that those responsible for road signage would have a responsibility for safety too. It seems that often a new sign is commissioned and it goes up without concern for the overall effect a signage overload has on the driver.

Unnecessary Things

When I get emails from people, sometimes it has a message saying that it came from an iPad. Why would I care? The email arrived and that's all that matters. From what sort of aperatus it was sent is of no interest to me. I've decided to add a message with each of my emails I send: 'Sent from my PC.'

Saying to someone "How are you" when you clearly don't want to know.
Or saying "To be honest..." Err, other times you aren't?
Then there's 'Needless to say..." but you then say it anyway.
What about "This person needs no introduction", then they are introduced.

Corporate greed. Top corporate people are overpaid. Yet greed deludes them into thinking they are worth it and more. Companies foolishly buy into it by paying them far too much. If they do a lousy job, they then get a massive severance pay. Common sense isn't that common, even in 'successful' big business.

Glad the sign was there

Nature programmes putting numerous references into the narration about evolution, as if it is a fact. If a nature programme made regular references to creation, it would be considered religiously biased indoctrination. What hypocrisy. Just talk about nature and cut the brain washing.

The 'make or break' comment in media articles. I have read about a new car is being a 'make or break' model for the company, when in fact its failure will do nothing of the sort. The car maker will still continue even if the car is a flop. Sports journalists often use the same expression about a game but when you do the maths, it isn't. They can still succeed even if they lose that game. It's just media hype and dishonesty rolled into one.