Thursday, May 8, 2014

Yorkshire Jokes

I am not an English language expert but there certainly is much variation in accents around the world, even within countries. If you don't know much about the Yorkshire accent, they drop the 'a' and 'the'. They also clip the ends off words and vowel sounds are different. Bearing this in mind may help you understand the jokes below.

A Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.
Yorkshireman: "Aye up lad, I need to talk to thee about cat."
The vet replies "Is it a tom?"
Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've brought it with me."

A Yorkshire goes into a pub with his pet giraffe, he gets a pint and the giraffe sits down next to him. His lying down makes him quite an obstacle to pass. The publican is irritated by this lack of consideration.
Publican: "What's that lyin' there?"
Patron: "He's not lion, he's giraffe."

A Yorkshireman's dog dies and he wants to have a gold statue made of it. He goes to a jeweler to enquire about the possibility.
Man: "Can ya make me a gold statue of my dog?"
Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"
Man: Ney, I want it chewin' a bone, you daft beggar."

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