In An Emergency, Call An Ambulance

A lifesaver

Religious Jokes

Tidal Variance In The UK

In the UK, there are large tidal variances for some reason, more than I am used to in New Zealand. Here are some of pituresque British examples. For the source and more pictures, please click here. The first two look like somewhere in Cornwall or Devon. I recognise the second set as Blackpool, a popular seaside town.

Animals In Threes

This rarely seen Lemur ritual dance finally caught on camera

I get what they mean when they say "Three's a crowd".

So where is the carrot then?

There is always one that has to fall in.

Getting The Last Drop Of Lemon Juice

The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around they offered a standing $1000 bet. 

The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money.

Many people had tried over time but nobody could do it. One day, this scrawny little fellow came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a small voice, "I'd like to try the bet."

After the laughter had died down, the bartender said, "OK", grabbed the lemon and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little fellow. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his little fist around the lemon .... and six drops fell into the glass.

As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the little man: "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight-lifter, or what?"

The little fellow quietly replied: "I work for the Tax Department."

Eating At Home Is Nice

I do enjoy seafood, chips and greens. Wholesome yet simple to prepare.

Bon appétit

You Just Can't Run On Empty

A man was driving down the road and ran out of petrol. Just at that moment, a bee flew in his window.

The bee said, 'What seems to be the problem?'

'I'm out of fuel,' the man replied.

The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away. Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to his car and into his fuel tank. After a few minutes, the bees flew out.

'Try it now,' said one bee..

The man turned the ignition key and the car started right up. 'Wow!' the man exclaimed, 'what did you put in my gas tank'?


BP.

Umbrellas

They are so useful, but a pain if you need to use your hands while holding one up to protect you from the rain. Someone has tried to fix this:

...and I must say it has merit.

This next effort is supposed to be stylish and easy to handle with what looks like a strap around the shoulders:

.... but it gives poor coverage lower down and looks unusual.

As for this effort, it gives better coverage than above:

...but looks cumbersome and claustrophobic.

Now this one has an eye on fashion:

... but it appears useless in keeping you dry. It looks daft too.

If you have to share one, this could be a solution:

... but what if you are alone? 
Plus the protection isn't that great anyway.

One that that looks effective and natural. Someone could walk behind as well. Biodegradable too:

... but not available everywhere and one not giving full protection.

I guess it could be mission impossible, finding the perfect solution. Maybe this is it:

... wear a raincoat and enjoy yourself.

Or maybe it's a case of safety in numbers:

I think I like the first one. That gets my vote anyway.

Animal Kingdom Message: Think Outside The Square

Your friends don't have to look like you

Now where did that chipmunk go?

They said it couldn't be done

That cat cannot have gone far

For more in the series, just click on the title below:

Do Something, Chill Out, Family Are Important, Value True Friends, Embrace Life 

& Be Assertive.

Animals At Large - Part 4

Lending a hand ...

... even doing home maintenance

Taking a well earned break 

Recreation is important too

On vacation, take a family photo opportunity

For others in the series, please click on part one, part two, part three, part five. and part six

Japanese Eye Test

Car Keys

Several days ago as I left a meeting I could not find my car keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing. Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the car park. My husband has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition.

As I scanned the car park I came to a terrifying conclusion! The car park was empty. I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.

Then I made the most difficult call of all. "Hello My Love", I stammered. "I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen."

There was a period of silence. I thought the call had disconnected, but then I heard his voice. He replied "I dropped you off!"

Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Could you come and get me please?"

He retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your car."

Mother Nature

I was watching a TV show about animals and to kick it off the narrator had to put in about evolution. It wasn't necessary but it is as if they have to. 'Mother nature' was also mentioned which got me wondering. Why is evolution spoken of as a fact when it is still a theory? Also, what is this amazing maternal force that guides the natural world?

Firstly, evolution. It has never been proven and cannot be proven. How can it, when the basis for it is an explosion that caused it to happen? Have you ever heard of a creative explosion? House cleaning would be a breeze if rolling a stick of explosive into each room did the trick. It is impossible for an explosion to do anything that is remotely constructive. Would an explosion have caused all this water that envelops this planet for example?

Secondly, this 'mother nature' thing. Apparently ancient pagan peoples believed in a maternal goddess of nature and fertility. It was the force behind the natural world. Amazingly, evolutionists talk of this pagan deity as if they believe in it too. Does that sound like a reasoned scientific deduction or hocus pocus? The pagan tribes that worshiped gods and goddesses have more in common with modern, 'reasoned' evolutionists than you would think.


In summary, denying the existence of a powerful God leads one to illogical conclusions. As the NWT Translation says: "Look! They have rejected the word of Jehovah, and what wisdom do they have?"

PS. The above narrator  pronounced evolution "evil-ution". To refuse to give to the wonderful Maker of this universe any credit for His handiwork is truly an evil thing to do.

Careful What You Put On Facebook

A House On The Move ... Not

What a tragedy! In hindsight, you may wonder if the bridge was built well enough, or whether the trucking firm was overly optimistic. I guess the answer to that will determine who pays for the damage. Either way a real headache sorting this out.