Short Jokes

A man admitted to being addicted to brake fluid, but he reckoned he could stop any time.

The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death.

I went to the cemetery and I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin, 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it. I thought they've lost the plot!

My daughter asked me for a pet spider, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £10! I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.

I was at an ATM yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over.

I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move.

I was driving this morning when I saw a parked AA van. The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. I thought to myself that guy's heading for a breakdown.

My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, can you believe that, 2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.

I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice! At least I presume she was poor - she only had £1.20 in her purse.

I woke up last night to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor standing at the foot of my bed. At first I was afraid.......then I was petrified.

A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me around and talking behind my back. He says what do you expect? You're in a wheelchair.

Thoughts To Think On

Never sacrifice who you are just because someone has a problem with it.

Do not give up too easily as the beginning is always the hardest.

Speak the truth even if your voice trembles.



The happiest people don't have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything.

To make your dreams come true, you first need to wake up.

Judging a person does not define them, rather it defines you.

Apologising does not always mean you are wrong and they are right. It means that you value your relationship more than your ego.

Dark Chocolate Treats

I have a penchant for dark chocolate; in fact I cannot even enjoy milk chocolate anymore. We get dark chocolate in a slab, but we also buy dark cooking chocolate too. What we do with the cooking variety is melt it in a microwave safe glass container in 40 second bursts, then dip various items in it as treats. Below are pictured some of the things we do.

First up is licorice. We cut it into almost one inch lengths, then held by tooth picks they are dipped into the melted chocolate. They are then placed on baking paper to cool. As shown, they go very well with fresh walnuts. Yum.



In the next photo, pumpkin, sesame and sunflower seeds, diced almonds and crystallised ginger are stirred into a portion of melted choc, then placed on baking paper or paper cases to set. Very healthy.



Finally, pieces of crystallised ginger are dipped into the hot choc held with tooth pics and again left to set.

The Fig Season

I do love fresh figs and 'tis the season for them here. Sweet and juicy, they are also full of fibre. Ahhh...