The Poet's Hospital

Prince Charles is visiting an Edinburgh hospital. He enters a ward full of patients with no obvious sign of injury or illness and greets one.

The patient replies:

"Fair fa your honest sonsie face,
Great chieftain o the puddin race,
Aboon them a ye tak yer place,
Painch, tripe or thairm,
As langs ma airm."

Charles is confused, so he just grins and moves on to the next patient. The patient responds:

"Some hae meat an canna eat,
And some wad eat that want it,
But we hae meat an we can eat,
So let the Lord be thankit."

Even more confused, the Prince moves on to the next patient, who immediately begins to chant:

"Wee sleekit, courin, timrous beasty,
O whit a panic's in thy breasty,
Tha needna start awa sae hastie,
Wi bickerin' brattle."

Now seriously troubled, Charles turns to the accompanying doctor and asks "Is this a psychiatric ward?"

"No," replies the doctor, "this is the serious Burns unit."