Which bird is the most unfit?
The Puffin.
My wife says I never listen to her.
Or something like that.
Son asks his dad "Why is it called Diarrhea?"
Dad "Because it's dire and comes from the rear".
Did you hear about the argument at the balloon convention?
Apparently, there was quite a blow up.
I told my wife I'd gladly give her the shirt off my back.
When it needs washing of course.
How does one cross a dry, grassy plain?
One steppe at a time.
My wife said my hair is a mess and to go look in the mirror!
On reflection, I think she was right.
I muttered I must include the cow joke.
My wife overheard me and asked "No bull?".
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