Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Wise Cracks

I called my dog Five Miles. Now I can tell people I walk five miles every day.

Women have fake hair, eyelashes, lips, breasts, buttocks etc. Yet they want a real man!

My wife said the other day "How about we have some wine and cheese".
I said "Good idea, I''ll get the cheese and you have a whine".

A farmer counted 198 cows in the field, but when he rounded them up he had 200.

Is there anything good about Switzerland? At least their flag is a plus.

Last night me and my wife watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the telly.

My wife noticed I always lay down after activating the bread maker. So she asked me why to which I replied "When I press the start button, on the screen a message comes up 'Rest".

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