Dogs & Children With Water Theme

Funny Signs

Wow, that's new to me

...and I'm not budging on that either

Sign writing needs planning too, ya know

Do they do leeks?

So what are the town planners trying to say here?

Travel Plans For Three African American Ladies

Many years ago, three AA ladies were getting ready to take their first plane trip.

The first lady said "I don't know bout y'all, but I'm gunna put me on sum hot pink panties beefo' I gets on dat plane"

"Why you gonna wear dem fo?" the other two asked.

 The lady replied "Cause, if dat plane goes down and I'm out dare laying butt up, in some conefield, dey gonna find me first!"

 The second lady said "Well then, I'm a-gonna wear me some floeresant orange panties."

 "Why you gonna wear dem" the others asked.

She answered "Cause if dis here plane is goin' down and I be floatin butt up in the oshun, dey will see me first!"

The third lady says "Well, I aint gonna wear no panties at all!"

"What, no panties?" the others said in shocked disbelief.

The third lady says "Dat's right girlfriends, you hears me right. I ain't wearing no panties at all, cos dey always look’n for da black box first!"

Dopey Travel Agents

It starts like this...

I don't know if the label 'Humour - Travel' fits this story, but perhaps farcical would be better.

A man wanted to travel from London to Granada in Spain, then later take a flight from Lisbon back to the USA. He was instead put on a flight to Grenada in the West Indies (pronounced Gren-ae-da). He is currently seeking compensation through court.

It reminded me of the numerous mess-ups I have experienced when using dopey travel agents. A few are listed below:

1) My brother and I booked a flight from the UK to New Zealand, and the travel agent said he would ring closer to the time of departure date to collect our tickets. When we went in to find out why we had heard nothing, he had forgotten to book the flight and in fact forgotten all about us. It meant we had to fly separately most of the trip and arrive home two days apart, leaving one of us to arrange accommodation for those two days with no offer of compensation. His attitude was everyone makes mistakes.

2) My wife and I went on an extended trip to the UK, and wanted money sent to a bank account we were wishing to open over there. We asked for the account to be based in a north English town near where we would be staying and they said no problem. The money was instead sent to a London branch and we couldn't get any money, as the bank said they couldn't transfer it until we activated it personally. After weeks of trying, I had to travel down to London to sort it out.

3) We travelled to the Gold Coast for a ten day stay in a hotel. I said my only stipulation was a quiet room, please ask for that. The agent said she would guarantee us that would be arranged. The room we got was the noisiest in the large complex overlooking a very busy expressway.

...but too often ends like this

I could go on with more examples but that gives an idea. While there must be competent agents, most I have dealt with could only be described as dopey. I book online now, and so far the internet hasn't let me down. You pay extra to go through an agent for peace of mind, and end up wanted to give them a piece of your mind. It's their job, but sad to say not one that many can carry out with competence, unless I have just been unlucky.

Happiness

Everyone wants to be happy. When you feel that way, all is well. However, it is an elusive feeling for many as things rob us of consistent happiness. So how can we gain and maintain it? First some things to examine.

1) Expectation. If expectations are high, then they are usually not realised and that leads to disappointment. Have lower expectations about life because many things are not as good as we would like.

2) Material aspirations. Society encourages us to want more, which is related to the last point. Advertisers assure us happiness comes from owning nice things. False. Once are basic needs are met, more things do nothing to make us feel better. In fact they can add worry, and load pressure on us to earn more to pay for it all.

3) Pleasures. This again may overlap with the previous point, but not always. Pleasure can include meeting material wants, but it covers so much more. Even if pleasures are inexpensive or free, they may not bring the happiness we sought. Inappropriate or selfish pursuits will leave us empty, hurt, and hurting others along the way. Wholesome fun in moderation will give us satisfaction.

I guess nothing discussed here is groundbreaking in content. It is too often ignored though, and doing that will fail to bring what they were supposed to do. A self-centred way of living will not bring us happiness. A simple, caring and giving lifestyle does.

PS. Reading the Bible portion of Matthew chapters 5 to 7 puts it much better than I do. 

Animals At Large - Part 6

Careful who you pick on

No, he's not going to eat it

Beware of the monster baboon 

I love to gatecrash a photograph

Never underestimate the length of a tongue

For others in the series, please click on part one, part two, part three, part four. and part five

Caught At The Right Moment

His trying not to not block anyone backfired - big time

Some people will do anything to get the audience's attention

The girls kiss him and he hardly notices. That's Mr. Cool

How difficult is it to eat a sausage?

Back to the gym big momma, asap

You can't always judge a girl's beauty by her face alone

An Italian Nonna's Advise

An Italian nonna's (grandmother) advice to her nipote (granddaughter) before she went on a date. It went as follows:


Nonna: "Let me tell-a you about dis young boy, eh? He's a-gonna try to kiss-a you, and you will a-like-ah dat. Den he will hold-a you close. Dat will be a very nice, ah. Then he will a wanna get on top of-a you. Do not-a let him, as dat will disgrace-a the fam-ily. OK?"

Nipote: "Si, nonna and grazie".


With those words ringing in her ears, the young lady went on the date. The next day the nipote told her nonna what happened.

Nipote: "It was just like you said nonna. He kissed me, then held me close. Then he tried to get on top but I wouldn't let him. Instead I pushed him off, got on top of him and I disgraced his family. Aren't you proud nonna?

Moral: It is one thing to say what to do or not, but do they understand why? She should have been more specific in her instructions as to why she must act this way.

Whyatt Cartoons : Part 5

For others in the series, simply click on the entry below:

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 (risque), and Part 4.

Common Sense Advice

Children: Speaking Their Mind

One thing children are good at is saying it like it is. My home life was like that, although in many nations the culture dictates that much is left unsaid. Children do not have such inhibitions and do not understand how there needs to be a balance between saying what is on their mind and thinking of the impact of their words on others. Words can indeed be hurtful.

I had to learn tact. When I was about three years old, we lived in a hot place, at a time when deodorants and antiperspirants were unheard of. Regular bathing and perfume were essential to avoid body odour. I was out at a function when I told a lady she smelt. She was horrified and my mother embarrassed. My mother couldn't understand why I said that when the lady always had a nice perfume smell.


The lady said a small child doesn't come up with something like that on its own, I must have heard my parents speaking about it at home. My mother assured her that they had never discussed it and my mother said that the lady always smelt nice. However, she could not be pacified and continued her line of complaint.

Eventually my mother's patience wore thin and her outspokenness came to the fore. She said that they had had better things to talk about at home than that, and that all she could say was he has a nose of his own. The lady then stormed off. I got told it was not nice to say those things and I realised the 'stink' it had caused.

Some time later my mother found out that I didn't like perfume and that was the smell I was talking about. The lady wore a lot of it, perhaps to mask a perspiration problem she had. He sensitivity to the subject caused her outburst.

So a child's honesty is refreshing, but at times too blunt. I learned to be tactful and now butter doesn't melt in my mouth, I am so winsome with my words.

PS. The picture of me that comes with this blog is from about this time.

Nice Thoughts

How Men Think

Men And Boxes

Man working, do not disturb

A man whose wife had a powerful job was asked what it was like being married to her. He said it was difficult as she couldn't stop being the boss when she came home. I was a manager once and learned how to switch off being the boss when I turned the key in the door to come home. Then when I arrived the next day to open up, 'the boss' came back.

That is a fundamental difference between the sexes. Men put their life into various boxes while women seem to have just one box. When men do things, they are in that box, fully focused. Women are moving around in the one box.

Doing it easily and with a smile

That is why women are good being around the home with a family. She can be doing a chore, the kids run in and she switches seamlessly to their needs, before going back to the chore. Everything is in one box. A man intensely doing a chore is in the 'doing something' box. When a child runs along, he has to get out the 'doing something' box and into the 'daddy sort it' box. Then climb back again. Going back and forth is tiring for the poor man. It is so much easier to switch if you can stay in one box all day, like a female can.

So men are good at focusing intensely, while women have a broader view. Of course this is a generalisation of the sexes, but it does seem to fit most. There are a male and a female for good reason. Both compliment each other.