Beer Drinker Vs Non Beer Drinker

Non Beer Drinker: How much beer do you drink a day?

Beer Drinker: Two six-packs.

NBD:  How much does that cost?

BD: Approximately $10 each.

NBD: How long have you been drinking that much?

BD: 20 years.

NBD:  So that's $140 per week, umm about $7,000 per year for 20 years equals $140,000. With compound interest of 5%...my calculator says 261,607.85. You could have bought a Ferrari with that money.

BD: So where's your Ferrari?


Disclaimer: In this PC world I must point out I do not endorse heavy drinking. Alcohol should be consumed in moderation (or not at all) and the above mentioned amount is immoderate. But what it shows is how calculating saving in such a way does not usually translate to money actually saved. Often we spend it on something else. 

The Ventriloquist And The Blonde

A ventriloquist is doing a show where a series of jokes done by his assistant dummy.

A blonde woman has had enough of this, jumps to her feet and says "I am sick of your endless blonde jokes. It stereotyping certain women and that is just not fair".

The ventriloquist relies "I'm sorry if I have offended you and ..."

The blonde woman interrupts "You keep out of this, I'm talking to your mate".

Harden Up!