Computer Tech Support

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one.
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?

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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.

Customer: My keyboard is not working.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back...Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.

Tech support: 'Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: 'P'... on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer:I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!