Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them awhile.
Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document.
Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun.
So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?
Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh .. did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?
You want a warning? O.K. I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket.
The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?
No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want.
I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail.
You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. .. Sign here.
If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.
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