In a laundromat: Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.
In a department store: Bargain Basement Upstairs.
In an office: Would the person who took the step ladder please return it or further steps will be taken.
In a canteen: After tea break, please empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.
Outside a disco: The most exclusive disco in town. Everyone welcome.
Outside a second hand shop: We exchange anything. Bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.
Council sign: Quicksand. Any person passing beyond this point will be drowned. By order of the council.
At a cemetery: Due to vandalism, we ask anyone with relatives here please do your best to keep them in order.
At a safari park: ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CARS.
At a field: The farmers allows you to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.
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