Overly Helpful Usher

An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps. "Where would you like to sit?" he asked politely.

"The front row, please," she answered.

"You really don't want to do that," the usher said. "The pastor is really boring."

"Do you happen to know who I am?" the woman inquired.

"No," he said.

"I'm the pastor's mother," she replied indignantly.

"Do you know who I am?" he asked.

"No," she said.

"Good," he answered.

What Fish Do All Day

I used to wish I was a fish,
Swimming through the weeds.
No sums to do, no spelling too,
Or history to read.

Then I found,
While swimming 'round,
The silly little fools,

Just didn't play,
Or laze all day,
But spent their time in schools


From the 'Beryl the Peril' annual, 1969.

Fail Photos

This presenter was in the wrong
place at the wrong time. Fail

Depth of field fail, but it sure makes the dog look mean

Ah, so close but not quite. Small fail

How do you explain this to the boss? Big fail

Fail. It's everywhere you go