What Fish Do All Day

I used to wish I was a fish,
Swimming through the weeds.
No sums to do, no spelling too,
Or history to read.

Then I found,
While swimming 'round,
The silly little fools,

Just didn't play,
Or laze all day,
But spent their time in schools


From the 'Beryl the Peril' annual, 1969.

Fail Photos

This presenter was in the wrong
place at the wrong time. Fail

Depth of field fail, but it sure makes the dog look mean

Ah, so close but not quite. Small fail

How do you explain this to the boss? Big fail

Fail. It's everywhere you go

The Stubborn Old Man?

An old man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the movie theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the old man, "Sorry sir, but you're only allowed one seat."

The old man didn't budge.

The usher became more impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager".

Once again, the old man just muttered and did nothing. The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the old disheveled man, but with no success. Finally they summoned the police.

The officer surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy what's your name?"

Fred," the old man moaned.

"Where you from, Fred?" asked the police officer.

With a terrible groan in his voice, and without moving, Fred replied "The balcony."