A Weighty Subject

Two Boy's Operations

Two little boys are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other outside the operating room, the first surgeries of the day.

The first boy leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"

The second boy says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."

The first boy says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of jelly and ice cream. It's a breeze."

The second boy then asks, "What are you here for?"

The first kid says, "A circumcision."

"Whoa!" the second boy replies. "Good luck buddy. I had that done when
I was born. Couldn't walk for a year."

Watch Those Eggs

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. 

Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh no! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. What? WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the Salt! USE THE SALT! THE SALT!' 

The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?' 

The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.'