Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow.. In fact, just push off and leave me alone.
No one is listening....until you pass wind.
Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
Some days you are the dog, other days you are the tree.
Good judgment comes from bad experience .... and most of that comes from bad judgment.
There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.
We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our rear end - then things just keep getting worse.
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
A journey of a thousand miles starts with a prod on the accelerator.