Saturday, July 16, 2011

Complaints To Councils - Extracts From Letters #1


I find it amazing anyone could write these comments on the complaints form without thinking what they were actually putting down. I must warn sensitive readers that some of the comments have a double meaning:



It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.

I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

I wish to complain that my father twisted his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

Their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.

I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other day that blew them off.

My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?

Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.

I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are just plain filthy.

The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.

Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.

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